People ask me all the time: Who is Senator Rick Stevens? Who is he really? Well I'll tell you who he is. Rick Stevens is a man who believes in America. Rick Stevens once saved an entire stadium of sick children from a rampaging bear. The last time Rick Stevens made an apple pie, several thousand bald eagles flew over in the formation of the American flag. Rick Stevens cares about you, your family, and most importantly...your freedom.
Thank you for your vote.
(Rick Stevens was played by the one and only, as far as we're concerned, Mike Bachmann in the gang's Fiasco Game 1 - Main Street.)