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Episode 401 - BIG Lahni

Lahni Caplain, the Fastest Wood-Elf Alive!

Release Date: March 29, 2021
Recording Date: March 23, 2021
Episode Length: 1:11:10
Cast & Characters
Michael DiMauro: Dungeon Master
Tim Lanning: Toby Treacletart
Jennifer Cheek: Rowan Grey
Nika Howard: Lahnik "Lahni" Caplain
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Episode 400 Episode 402

Wow. 400 fricken episodes. Momma mia. Well, this one is a doozy and a half! Our heroes face off against a powerful new foe and come face to face with some not so new faces. Wow!


Long Story[]

The episode starts with a flashback to Episode 253, where Queen Aludra Wyrmsbane and her wife, Jaela, have a shared dream of Trant Thumble killing Bucky/Prince Thom Harper with Blood Drinker in Caer. This is what started off this whole arc in the first place. That's how it started, but here's how it's going:

Lahni Caplain has placed the final piece of The Orb together, and now, it's less of an Orb, and more of a Cube. Or, if you will, a d6. All 6 of the sides are "popped-out", as if spring loaded. Orcus, the god, dies the second this happens, and his body falls to the ground. It begins decaying rapidly. And as it does, a kind of strange, mystical energy begins to eminate out of the body. It floats upward, toward a crystal hanging from the ceiling. And Lahni, the monk, feels an unusual power. Holding the Orb, she feels as if she's able to... control that energy. And so, she does. She takes control of it, and funnels it. Into herself.

Her vision goes red and blurry. She's loosing control, blinking in and out of consciousness. She sees herself, giant, holding Trant Thumble, and wants to squeeze him, but she tosses him away. She no longer thinks of Zuggtmoy as a rival, she's able to slap her away with a single punch. And she begins rummaging around on the ground, collecting anything shiny she sees. She places it all in her Ferret Pouch, and then, runs through the wall.

She, not Lahni, runs. And she remembers running. She remembers liking it. She's remembering more now. Friends. She never had friends. In front of her, a broom. She reaches for it. It reminds her of a friend she's never had. Did she have a brother? And when she grabs the broom, she's Lahni again! Floating through a pool of colored light. And Lahni passes out...

Skud Derringer is wearing robes from the Monastery of Uthgar, and he's standing before his father, Uthgar himself. The god speaks to his son. He apologizes for his behavior, but this will wait until Bachmann is back.

Rowan Grey stands in a wooden grove. It's dusk, the sun filtering through the trees. With her, is a woman on a rock, stringing a bow. Rowan greets Melora. Their conversation is brief, but important. Melora tells her that they are currently in Melora's domain, but soon she will be back in Drunkeros, alive again. However, a warning: Rowan and her friends have just unleashed a great power into the world. Melora beckons Rowan forward, and the ranger complies. In fact, Rowan is humble, for the first time in a while. Her bravado is absent in this god's presence. She kneels before Melora. And Melora lifts her up. And blesses her. As Rowan is fading away, Melora tells her to find her father. They need each other.

Toby Treacletart is pissed. Hurdling towards his tanks, he remembers the deal he made with Vecna. He steers himself in the direction of the tank that was corrupted by the Goddess of Necromancy and Deception. And Toby is remade once again. But this time, his right arm and his right eye are withered, corrupted by Vecna's evil. The twice-dead gnome greets his old friend, though Boris has other matters on his mind. The Tower of Gray was under attack, by forces led by a Drow lady. Fortunately, the Tower was able to repel them. Marlamin Windlore and Erynn Colleen were killed in the battle (goddammit, Michael), but they were resurrected. Toby's now stronger, and he accidentally crushes Boris's hand, though he's able to heal him immediately.

And then Rowan shows up. And by "Shows up", I mean that her clone suddenly jerks to life after her soul has reconstituted itself after dying. The two briefly reconnect, and then Toby uses a Sending Stone to contact Bercy Hamhands aboard the BTS. Bercy's glad to hear his voice, and informs them that they caught Lahni flying around. Toby commands him and the ship to return to Greenham so everyone can re-group. As everyone heads off to leave the Demi-plane, however, they are met by Erynn Colleen, with news that a group of people have teleported into The Tower of Gray. That group is, of course, Queen Aludra Wyrmsbane, Jaela, Bucky, Daisy, and Lady Adira Harper.


Lahni has just killed Orcus. She takes his power and becomes a giant monster Orcus/Lahni. She gathers up a bunch of shiny things on the ground (possibly the group's fallen inventory), and then runs out through the wall. She grabs onto Toby's broom, and is later picked up by the BTS. Meanwhile, Skud, Rowan, and Toby, having died, all have different experiences. Skud meets his father, and they have an as-yet-unheard conversation. Rowan meets Melora, who blesses her, and tells her to seek out her father. Toby doesn't meet a god, instead he is sent back to his clone. He chooses to enter the clone that has been corrupted by Vecna. There, he meets Boris, who tells him that a Drow lady attacked the Tower of Gray, but she and her forces were fought off. Rowan appears and they together meet Aludra, Jaela, Bucky, Daisy, and Adira Harper, who arrive via teleportation.


  • It's true. Michael and I, MisterRed, spoke and confirmed that Eckhart Dayhammer, by the betrayal of Rhaegar, has always looked like Trant Thumble. They are, in fact, one and the same. The only time he didn't look like Trant Thumble was back in Sigil.
  • Tim reference the time Michael didn't let him grab the dagger from that one guy. This is a reference to Episode 170, where someone killed themselves with a dagger that Harper was unable to grab for some reason
  • So far, each time someone has died and been sent into their clone tank, they have stopped to have a conversation with their god first. Michael clarifies that this is not normal. These moments have been extremely specific circumstances, which is why the gods were interfering
  • Rowan's boon is the equivalent of a Quicksilver Cuirass. She can cast Friends once per day. She can also cast Greater Haste 3 times per day, which can double her speed and give +2 to AC, advantage on DEX saving throws, and can give her an additional action. I assume that those last few things are all part of the Greater Haste spell. Also, her max AC is raised, but it's not stated to what.
  • Marlamin Windlore and Erynn Colleen (who is referred to as a "he" in this episode) have a child together in Toby's Demi-plane
  • Being in the body of his Vecna-clone, Toby has the powers of the Eye and the Hand of Vecna. He has True Sight now, so he can "see everything". He also has 23 Intelligence again! Proficient in Perception, and with a 20 STR. He does smell bad, though, like burnt hair and skin. He's got a
  • Toby makes a reference to only having 99 more years until his plans come to fruition...
  • He also grabs an old wizard's hat to hide his new eye, which is now a golden cat's eye, and a glove for his withered hand
  • Bercy Hamhands was given a Sending Stone, and he was on the BTS

In This Episode...[]

Cast and Player Characters[]

Non-Player Characters[]




Toby Rowan Skud Lahni Others General Inventory
[NEW] Sending Stone
Rowan's Tattoo[387]
Ferret Wine Ferret[253]
The Orb[257] - Dropped after taking The Power (revealed in the next episode)
Bag of Beans[274]
Boots of Phasing[299]
A Longbow[349]
Sending Stone[353]
Leather Helmet[379]
The Caplain's Secret Ferret Pie/Cake Recipe[387]
Scroll of Plane Shift[392]
Potion of Greater Healing {x2}[392]
[NEW] Robe of Stars
[NEW] Toby's Crystal Ball of Telepathy
[NEW] Toby's Sending Stone
[NEW] Toby's Dossier on a Warehouse Owner
[NEW] Toby's Diary/Letter opener of Silga Darvo
[NEW] Toby's Scroll of Teleportation {x2}
[NEW] Toby's Leather Helmet
[NEW] Toby's Doug the Astral Dreadnought
[NEW] Toby's Treasure Map on the back of a portrait of Burt Ballista
[NEW] Toby's Rare books {x3}
[NEW] Toby's The Arcane Grimoire, Tsugrix Zelentiri
[NEW] Toby's Alchemy Jug
[NEW] Toby's Scroll of Plane Shift
[NEW] Toby's Potion of Greater Healing {x2}
[NEW] Rowan's Oathbow
  • [NEW] Rowan's Arrows of Dragon Slaying {x4}
[NEW] Rowan's Dancing Rapier
[NEW] Rowan's Eyes of Charming
[NEW] Rowan's Sending Stone
[NEW] Rowan's Kevimp McBallister's groin shotgun
[NEW] Rowan's Bag of Infinite Chicken Fingers
[NEW] Rowan's Leather Helmet
[NEW] Rowan's Scroll of Plane Shift
[NEW] Rowan's Potion of Greater Healing {x2}
[NEW] Skud's Gold Bone Coin that lets him enter the Bones championship
[NEW] Skud's Heavy Armor, atop of his robe, adorned with fish
[NEW] Skud's Sending Stone
[NEW] Skud's Longsword of Wounding
[NEW] Skud's Water Badge
[NEW] Skud's Earth Badge(s)
[NEW] Skud's Air Badge
[NEW] Skud's Leather Helmet
[NEW] Skud's Deck of Many Things{18 cards}
[NEW] Skud's Scroll of Plane Shift
[NEW] Skud's Potion of Greater Healing {x2}
[NEW] "Several" Potions of Fire Resistance
[NEW] Potions of Haste
[NEW] Dark Blade
[NEW] More Sending Stones, just in case
[NEW] Potions of Underwater Breathing
[NEW] Bag of Infinite Burgers
[NEW] Bag of Infinite Moscow Mules
[NEW] Toby's Broom of Flying
The BTS[380]

Quest Log Updates[]


  • "I'm here. I'm... fill in whatever blank you want to." ~ Nika Howard
  • "Poop is the physical. Farts are just astral poop." ~ Nika Howard, 2021
  • "What's the worst thing that can happen to our team... this week?" ~ Tim Lanning
  • "New Lahni just dropped. She's Slenderman!" ~ Jennifer Cheek
  • "Boris, we have work to do. Also, we need to move the Demi-plane, because something very weird happened, and not that chill." ~ The Evil Toby Treacletart


  • Lahni? makes a WIS Saving Throw - 28
    • She remembers things she shouldn't be

  • She makes another WIS Saving Throw - 14
    • I don't think anything happens

  • She makes another WIS Saving Throw - 25
    • She's Lahni!