| J'Michael Goes to J'ail (Campaign 2 - Episode 95) |
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| Information | |
| Release Date: | April 22, 2024 |
| Recording Date: | April 16, 2024 |
| Episode Length: | 1:20:52 |
| Cast & Characters | |
| Michael DiMauro: | Dungeon Master |
| Tim Lanning: | T'Chuck |
| Jennifer Cheek: | Selene von Esper |
| Nika Howard: | R'Oarc |
| Mike Bachmann: | Screech Echo |
| Guide | |
| Previous Episode: | Next Episode: |
| Caravan Raid | Morality and Murder |
Not going to sugar coat it – some of our “friends” and “allies” make some poor decisions. We do our best but things are not ideal.
Story[]
Long Story[]
It's a slightly rainy spring morning in the mountains of Drunkeros. The party has just saved the circus they are traveling with from an attack by a Wyvern! The only survivor on the attacker's side is a Hill Giant, now tied up and immobilized. R'Oarc gets to work waking him by honking a clown horn in his ear. A terrible way to wake up, I'm sure. They end up getting a ton of information out of him, such as that the goblin riding the Wyvern last episode was named "Gorm, the Unforgivable." There may or may not be another guy, higher up the ladder, named "Goram". But it may just be the accent. The other Hill Giant, the dead one, was named "Roberto", but I don't think we ever learn the name of this living one. Which is kind of rude, if you ask me. We also learn that the Hill Giants have been working with Gorm for about 2 seasons, pillaging and looting where they could. The looters have a camp, where more Hill Giants, and other creatures, can be found. He's unable to draw a map to get to the place, so they decide to make a deal with this Hill Giant: They will let him go, and in return, he will lead the party back to his camp.
Meanwhile, Screech sees the small figure (who was shot out of a cannonball last ep) dart away quietly. Not to be out-done, Screech, too, darts away quietly. He dons his Beholder-doodle mask, and follows behind the figure, who he realizes is a young boy. Screech watches as the kid runs away from the caravan, then stops, doubles back, and sneakily returns. He enters a trailer marked "orphans". Foaming at the mouth at the potential new ward (or wards), Screech goes and knocks on the door. It opens up, and inside, Screech sees several orphans, "none of whom are dressed as animals". The orphan who opened the door introduces himself, unfortunately, as "Dick Goodie". Well, that's not ideal. Screech questions the boy about the mysterious costumed vigilante, who Dick refers to as "The Oriole". And, by the way, Dick is totally not The Oriole. Stop asking him about it. It's a completely different guy! Screech knowingly gives Dick his card, and then grapples away. Also, Screech has cards now.
Meanwhile, meanwhile, T'Chuck has decided to go to the corpse of Gorm, and casts Speak with Dead on it. He gets to ask a few questions, and Gorm is surprisingly compliant with him. We learn that Gorm attacked the caravan simply because they wanted money. Their camp is about 40 miles north of here, where they keep treasure, gold, and some dirty drawings. There's also some gold hidden under Gorm's bed, along with his pet snake. Gorm requests that, if the party is going to go to the camp to steal all their gold, could they at least free the snake? T'Chuck agrees. With that, the spell ends. He searches Gorm's body, and the other attacking creatures, and finds some low-quality copper jewelry, and 50 gp. He orders the bodies burned, and the ashes buried.
Finally, all the party members gather together again, and discuss what they all learned. Screech really wants The Oriole to be his new ward, which prompts everyone to ask where Gertie is. She SHOULD be back in Mineford, having been left with Grimshaw Shadowhoof, to be his assistant. They also reference "the sick kid", Thaldin Emberbrew. He was also left with Shadowhoof back in Mineford. Anyway, the party is then approached by Barnabas Rumbletoes, who nervously requests that they keep the magic use to a down-low. R'Oarc is able to convince him that they were absolutely not doing anything magical. BUT, she did see "Steve the clown" doing some magic earlier. Barnabas promises to reprimand him later, then tells them that they'll be leaving shortly. They're to make camp around mid-day, and requests the party's help with some tasks that need doing. That's a no-can-do, however, as the party will be leaving to go deal with the looter's camp situation.
Screech gets some more information from Barnabas about The Oriole: He's a little guy who helps out when things get dangerous. The circus-folk ring a bell, and he comes a-stabbin' (although his starting move is always to get shot out of a cannon). He also likes to slit throats. The circus tends to pick up an about 10-15 kids with each stop, but Barnabas doesn't believe the Oriole is one of them, for some reason. The Oriole first began showing up about 6 months ago, and at that time, the circus was in Frostmount, hundreds of miles from where they are now.
With that, the party gets ready to go, but first, they decide to go and speak with J'Michael, who is still causing Draven Bloodfang some trouble. J'Michael is currently rolling around with the baby woolly mammoth from before, who, apparently, J'Michael can speak with. According to J'Michael, his name is Jumbo. Despite having been told that the whole "3 wishes" thing was bullshit, Screech gets J'Michael to make a wish, convinced that Jumbo thinks of J'Michael as its owner. J'Michael does wish for a nice Monte Cristo, which does somehow magically appear. But does this mean that Jumbo's magic is real? Well, even if it were, J'Michael has already used up all his wishes. The other two were for a Go Kart (which has no gas), and a BB Gun (which has no BBs). Well, that's just perfect.
Oh, also, J'Michael totally ate Draven Bloodfang.
T'Chuck is outraged at this (as is Tim Lanning), but what's done is done. As the old saying goes, once the stable-master has been shit out, there's no use shoving him back into the dragon's ass. You've heard that saying before, right? It's not just me? Anyway, Selene attempts to calm T'Chuck down, and tells J'Michael that it's not okay to just eat people. Although, she does agree that Draven sucked, and won't really be missed. So, it's not that big a deal, actually. J'Michael does reluctantly agree not to eat anyone, but mostly because of how upset his friends seem to be. He didn't think they'd be that mad. I mean look at his name: Draven Bloodfang. How evil can you get?
Anyway, the party leaves, to head for the hill mounds, taking J'Michael with them. Jumbo stays behind.
Short[]
The party learns that the looters who attacked them have a camp. What's more, this camp has treasure. They decide to go there, to salvage the stolen loot, and also kill the rest of the looters. It's a public service, you see. Also, Screech meets a new potential ward, a bird-themed vigilante known as "The Oriole". Most importantly, however, J'Michael killed and ate Draven Bloodfang.
Trivia[]
- Gorm tells T'Chuck that their encampment is near two hills with a tree in the middle. This prompts everyone to envision a variety of filthy images.
- They wonder if there was a ceremony for Gertie being a ward, and if Gertie was adopted by Screech. I think she was.
- When The Oriole first appeared at the circus, he slaughtered a sea hag. Though Barnabas suspects this may have just been a woman.
- Bachmann had written in his notes that was an actual griffon, so that's what he thought was going on.
- J'Michael thinks it may have been possible that he's eaten, like, one or two other people, long before meeting the party. But he can't be sure.
In This Episode...[]
Cast and Player Characters[]
- Michael DiMauro - Dungeon Master
- Tim Lanning - T'Chuck
- Jennifer Cheek - Selene von Esper
- Nika Howard - R'Oarc
- Mike Bachmann - Screech Echo / Beholder-doodle (Screech)
Non-Player Characters[]
- An unnamed Hill Giant
- The temporarily animated corpse of Gorm, the Unforgivable
- "The Oriole" (Dick Goodie)
- Barnabas Rumbletoes
- J'Michael
- Jumbo
Locations[]
Inventory[]
| T'Chuck | Selene von Esper | R'Oarc | Screech Echo | General Inventory | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Quest Board[]
- [NEW][Active] - Clear out the Looter's Camp
- [NEW][Active] - Save Gorm's pet snake
- [On-Hold] - Save Selene's family!
- [On-Hold] - Go to Brunnell
- [On-Hold] - Go to Brookwillow
- [On-Hold] - Recruit the help of Hortentia Calamore
- [On-Hold] - Travel to Vhur'endal
- [On-Hold] - Recruit the help of House Bartell
- [On-Hold] - Travel to Anchordowns
- [On-Hold] - Go to Brunnell
- [On-Hold] - Find a cure for Thaldin Emberbrew
- [On-Hold] - Go to the nearby Drow city, probably Vhur'endal
- [On-hold] - Investigate "Bill, the Necromancer", in the far off city by the coast
- [On-hold] - Take the disembodied lips to the oceanfront, for a burial at sea
Quotes[]
- "Now, she's got short, blonde hair. She bleached it, with magics... and bleach." ~ Jennifer Cheek
- "[R'Oarc's] in her clown era." ~ Nika Howard
- "'The ultimate way of beating the One Evil God is the One True God: Jesus H. Christ.' ~ Screech Echo" ~ Tim Lanning (and Jennifer Cheek)
- "Wait. They shot a kid out a cannon? That whips." ~ T'Chuck
- "Honk his ass off!" ~ Barnabas Rumbletoes
- "J'Michael. J'umbo. You're going to jail. J'ail!" ~ Tim Lanning
- "You want to know a secret? I thought there was a griffon..." ~ Mike Bachmann
- "His name was DRAVEN BLOODFANG! Can you hear that?" ~ J'Michael
Rolls[]
- They all roll Perception while questioning the Hill Giant
- R'Oarc - 9
- Screech - 23
- T'Chuck - 13
- Selene - 9
- Screech is the only one who notices that the cannonball bird kid sneaks off
- T'Chuck rolls either Persuasion or Intimidation when questioning Gorm - 13
- Michael just says "Noted"
- Screech rolls Stealth to follow the cannonball kid - 25
- He's successfully stealthed.
- Screech rolls Intimidation while questioning Dick Goodie about The Oriole - 7
- He's not that intimidating
- Screech rolls Investigation to see if there is any evidence of The Oriole being around - 24
- He finds that Dick Goodie has some scorch marks on him
- R'Oarch rolls Persuasion to convince Barnabas that they weren't using magic during the fight - 20
- He believes her