| Clown Capitalism (Campaign 2 - Episode 82) |
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| Information | |
| Release Date: | January 8, 2024 |
| Recording Date: | January 2, 2024 |
| Episode Length: | 59:43 |
| Cast & Characters | |
| Michael DiMauro: | Dungeon Master |
| Tim Lanning: | T'Chuck |
| Jennifer Cheek: | Selene von Esper |
| Nika Howard: | R'Oarc |
| Mike Bachmann: | Screech Echo |
| Guide | |
| Previous Episode: | Next Episode: |
| Flaming Pile of Circus | King of the Juggalos |
Somehow we’ve returned from that land of winter but find ourselves surrounded by a circus fire. Can we pull it together to bring harmony to this traveling band of merrymakers?! Well, we better since they are our ride to the Farhold.
Story[]
Long Story[]
So, there was a bonus episode that, if we're being 100% honest with ourselves, I didn't listen to. I know, I'm a bad fan. Listen, I have a 9 month old baby at home, I barely have time to keep the Wiki up to date. Actually, I mean that, this page was posted a month after the episode came out! Cut me some freakin' slack, alright!!!
Anyway, after the mysterious and unknowable events of that episode, the party wakes up. So, I guess they fell asleep? It sounds like they were sent into a magical snow-globe by some kind of magician? I'm not sure. They're still in "The Big Top Traveling Circus and Magnificent Menagerie" with Barnabas Rumbletoes, the ringleader, but now they are mysteriously cold. So, that's all pretty weird.
Barnabas reminds them of the various issues the circus is currently dealing with:
- The acrobats are up on their high-wire, and won't come down.
- The petting zoo is stampeding around.
- The jugglers and the clowns are fighting in the Big Top.
- The puppeteers are putting on an artsy-fartsy show that no one likes.
- The carnival workers are sick of working for tips and they're on strike. (This is a new one that wasn't mentioned last episode.)
- Also, last episode, he had mentioned that the magicians are locked in their wagon, but doesn't mention that one now.
In the previous numbered episode, Barnabas had given them a similar list. The only difference was that the last one about the carnies on strike wasn't mentioned. By the way, I'm trademarking "Carnies on Strike" as a potential band name idea. Don't steal it. Oh, and there was also another thing Barnabas had mentioned last episode; the magicians were locked up in their wagon. He doesn't mention that now, so maybe that was resolved in the bonus episode? Man, I really gotta listen to that thing.
Alright, well, the party aren't a bunch of scabs, so they aren't too keen on breaking the strike. However, they do agree to go and, at least, hear the carnies out. Get their side of the story. Along the way, they see many things on fire. A rampaging pig goes running past, with a small child holding on for dear life on it's back. They also see a group of what can only be carnies, lazily smoking around a fire. Which I guess is also smoking? But not in the same way. You understand. T'Chuck speaks to them, in his personable way he has. The carnies inform the party that the so-called "Barnabas Rumbletoes" is, in fact... a terrible boss! He's making them work for tips, only taking in a handful of copper pieces per night. All their asking for is to be paid a single copper piece a day, which seems low. The party tells them that, first of all, they should be asking for more than that. Secondly, even though Barnabas sucks, they should at least help to put out the fires. If they don't, there won't be a circus to come back to, once the negotiations are settled. They agree, and get to work. Hurray!
They return to Barnabas, and chew him out for not paying his workers enough. Screech and Barnabas are briefly on the same page, brainstorming on how best to marginalize the working class. However, Screech quickly snaps out of it. Barnabas, while peeved, does agree to pay his workers a fair wage. He thanks the party, but reminds them of the other various issues they have. Selene puts the hammer down, telling Barnabas that, if they're going to be doing all this work for him, they're going to want to draw up a contract. They'll continue working, contract-less, through the rest of the day, but by midnight, he better have the document ready to sign, dammit (this never ends up happening). And with that, the gang heads back out to deal with more bullshit.
The acrobats are pretty easily to deal with. R'Oarc is able to use a simple Suggestion spell to get them to come down. She reminds them that they are, in fact, in danger of the fires if they stay up there. They do come down, though they grumble that they aren't getting hazard pay. Jeez, this Barnabas guy...
Next on the docket is the issue with the petting zoo. The animals are rampaging. At the suggestion of the carnies, the party goes to speak with an old man named "Thadius Whimsybottom". Whimsybottom informs them that The Jokester is to blame for the current rampage. When he was here before, he did a funny little dance, said something mysterious to the animals, and then ran off. Now, the beasts won't settle down. As it turns out, the creatures have lollipops stuck to their fur. The gang is able remove these lollipops, and corral the animals back into their cages. They also investigate where these lollipops are coming from. There's a long line of children, all waiting in line at the lollipop stand. The lollipop stand. The lollipop stand. And in the name of the lollipop staaaaaand, we welcome you to "The Big Top Traveling Circus and Magnificent Menagerie". Sorry, got a little carried away there. Anyway, the gang shuts down the lollipop stand, but not before learning that Barnabas intentionally told the lollipop salesman to make the lollipop sticks too short, so the kids would drop them, and be forced to buy more. This fuckin' guy!
Screech takes note of the various potential wards running about, which prompts the rest of the party to chastise him about not paying attention to his current ward(s). "Where's Gertie?", they ask. "Who's Gertie?", Screech responds. In fact, last time Gertie was mentioned, she was sent off to become the apprentice to Grimshaw Shadowhoof, back in Mineford, along with Thaldin Emberbrew. They also wonder about the Jokester. Was he, too, one of the forgotten wards of Screech Echo? I don't think he was. From what I can remember, Jokester showed up WITH a bunch of Screech's Ex-Wards, but he wasn't one of them. He was just some lunatic who answered their ad in the newspaper, and then kidnapped R'Oarc. He had nothing to do with any of the superhero stuff.
Barnabas approaches once again, and thanks them. He mentions having just received in a new shipment of Screech Bucks, and says that he's been considering rolling out a new system. Instead of copper pieces, he'll pay his workers in Screech Bucks. The others aren't too pleased with this idea, even though, according to Barnabas, it was all R'Oarc's idea. R'Oarc says, yeah, but only if we all agree that Screech Bucks are worth 200 gold pieces. Barnabas agrees that they are, but that means they are too valuable for the likes of the carnies. He keeps them all for himself, instead agreeing to pay his workers a meager 3 copper pieces a day. He then tells them to get on with their work. There's still the matter of the clowns vs the jugglers. Barnabas tells them to pick a side, and "eradicate" the other side. He doesn't care which one. R'Oarc is immediately on the side of the clowns, vowing to eliminate all jugglers! The others tell her to take it down a notch, and then head over to The Big Top, where the fighting is happening.
On one side, a horde of jugglers stands, throwing knives and various sharp objects around. On the other side, a single, tiny clown car. But out from that car steps, just, like, way too many fuckin clowns, dude. Just, like, a ton of them. They demand to know which side the party fights for...
Short[]
Barnabas Rumbletoes gives the party a list of problems the circus is having. Most of the problems seem to be bad management. As the party speaks with the various carnies, it becomes clear that Barnabas Rumbletoes is a terrible boss. They almost form several unions, but ultimately, convince the carnies to return to work. They are also able to get the acrobats to come down off the high-wire. The animals are running around in a rampage, which ends up being because they all have lollipops stuck to them. The party is able to clear these off, too, and corral the animals back into their cages. The next issue to deal with is the ongoing war between the jugglers and the clowns. The party enters the tent where they are fighting, and that's when the episode ends.
Trivia[]
- Esmerelda Glimmergaze is the circus's tattoo-smith. It's probably called a tattoo artist, but it's DnD, so I like "tattoo-smith" better.
- Other carnivals use Screech Bucks as currency, but this one does not.
- Thadius Whimsybottom doesn't get paid.
- The circus's petting zoo consists of two llamas, five goats, three pigs, two camels, an elephant, and one really old bear with one eye.
- Lollipops cost 1 copper apiece.
- They are made out of epoxy, gravel, and a little molasses.
- R'Oarc is the one responsible for the other circus using Screech Bucks as currency. But it wasn't intentional. She would use Screech Bucks to get in rides and buy treats and things like that, hoping the carnies wouldn't notice that they weren't real currency. Over time, the carnies began using them themselves, and the rest is history.
In This Episode...[]
Cast and Player Characters[]
- Michael DiMauro - Dungeon Master
- Tim Lanning - T'Chuck
- Jennifer Cheek - Selene von Esper
- Nika Howard - R'Oarc
- Mike Bachmann - Screech Echo
Non-Player Characters[]
- Barnabas Rumbletoes
- Various Carnies
- Various Acrobats
- Thadius Whimsybottom, the animal trainer
- An old bear
- Various Children
- Unnamed Lollipop Salesman
- Various Clowns and Jugglers
Locations[]
Inventory[]
| T'Chuck | Selene von Esper | R'Oarc | Screech Echo | General Inventory | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Quest Board[]
- [Active] - Save Selene's family!
- [Active] - Recruit the help of Hortentia Calamore
- [Active] - Travel to Vhur'endal
- [Active] - Get in the good graces of the circus
- [Active] - Travel to Vhur'endal
- [On-Hold] - Recruit the help of House Bartell
- [On-Hold] - Travel to Anchordowns
- [Active] - Recruit the help of Hortentia Calamore
- [Active] - Find a cure for Thaldin Emberbrew
- [Active] - Go to the nearby Drow city, probably Vhur'endal
- [Active] - Get in the good graces of the circus
- [Active] - Go to the nearby Drow city, probably Vhur'endal
- [On-hold] - Investigate "Bill, the Necromancer", in the far off city by the coast
- [On-hold] - Take the disembodied lips to the oceanfront, for a burial at sea
Quotes[]
- "Yeah, there was, like, a kid on a pig, and I don't think they wanted to be there!" ~ Selene von Esper
- "Someone give me a dollar, so I can give it to this man." ~ Screech Echo
- "Hey, let me tell ya'... What's the difference between a really great puppet show, and a bad puppet show? I don't fuckin' know!" ~ T'Chuck
- "How many horror movies have been made from jugglers that have decided to kill?" ~ Nika Howard
Rolls[]
- T'Chuck and Selene roll Persuasion to convince the carnies to play ball (with Advantage)
- T'Chuck - 24
- Success - He's able to convince them that this is the way to go
- Selene - 14
- Fail - She's stammering, and looking foolish
- T'Chuck - 24
- Screech rolls Persuasion to convince Barnabas that he should pay his workers more - Nat 20
- Success - He recognizes Screech, and listens to what he has to say
- R'Oarc casts Suggestion to convince the acrobats to come down from the trapeze, requiring a DC 15 Wisdom Saving Throw - 2
- Fail - They listen to her, and come down
- T'Chuck rolls Animal Handling to sooth the bear - 20
- Success - He finds a lollipop stuck in his fur.
- He rolls Slight of Hand to gently remove the lollipop - 14
- There's a little bit of tugging, but he removes it, which calms the bear
- He rolls Slight of Hand to gently remove the lollipop - 14
- Success - He finds a lollipop stuck in his fur.
- Selene rolls Intimidation to scare the lollipop seller into not selling lollipops - 22
- Success - He stops