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A Distracting Hot Spring
(Campaign 2 - Episode 61)
Information
Release Date: May 22, 2023
Recording Date: May 16, 2023
Episode Length: 1:07:45
Cast & Characters
Michael DiMauro: Dungeon Master
Tim Lanning: T'Chuck
Jennifer Cheek: Selene von Esper
Nika Howard: R'Oarc
Mike Bachmann: Screech Echo
Guide
Previous Episode: Next Episode:
Big Bone Baddie Three Weeks Later


The time has finally come! That is a pun, of course, since our quest to restore J’Michael is nearing completion. That is also somewhat of a pun. Sorta. None of us want to be around for what happens once our new dragon ally gets their mojo back so we obviously ignore it and hop into the hot springs.

Story[]

Long Story[]

The party has made it back to the Cloisters. They give the tendons from the vanquished Bone Golem to the Abbott, who is able to make a stew that will help fix J'Michael's little issue. Also, since the group also harvested some "meat" (somehow) from the Bone Golem, The Abbott creates a bunch of pills for the party. They are, essentially, boner pills. And they have 69 of them, because of course they do.

Anyway, with the necessary stew in hand, the gang returns to Mineford. Across the way from The Goblin Pit Too, another building has a fire burning. It seems that life is returning to this sleepy little town. Inside the Goblin Pit, J'Michael is sleeping atop a pile of cushions, in the center of the tavern. Griff and Kitten are also there. They're scared of the dragon, and are trying not to make any noise. Ratma Ritmo greets them, and takes them outside. They show her the weapons they took from the Drider, which she recognizes as Adamantine. That's some pretty powerful stuff.

Okay, but now to the matter at hand. They have the cure for J'Michael's predicament (emphasis on the "dic"), but what's this? Ratma seems to be having second thoughts. She seems to like J'Michael this way. Could Ratma's rough and abrasive outer layer be hiding a soft and mushy interior? Seems to be. Regardless, the deed needs to be done. But somehow, none of the party members want to be the ones to do it. Something just seems weird about giving their new friend an erection. So, they ask Griff to do it. He's got nothing better to do, and they also offer him up their new scimitar (I think they're referring to the longsword they got from the Drider, but I'm not sure). Anyway, Griff agrees, and he heads into the Goblin Pit to give him the stew.

As they wait for the... ritual to commence, the party sits around at a nearby hot springs, just to talk. The gang feels stronger, more powerful. It's almost as if they've leveled up in their adventuring prowess somehow. Some would say that they're "Level 7" adventurers now. Their conversation is occasionally over-shadowed by the hideous and unknowable sounds coming from the tavern. The building shakes and lurches. Only Satan himself would be able to comprehend the terrors going on within those walls. To bear witness to such acts is to court madness. With one last lurch of the building, the ritual announces itself as complete.

Selene tries peering through the windows, to see inside, but they're too dusty. So, T'Chuck (who's just, a super cool guy) opens the door to the tavern, shoves Selene through, and slams it shut. Rude! But she's surprised to find, that, it's not a disgusting and terrible scene. Actually, J'Michael is sleeping peacefully, snoring, his body curled around a large, hot egg! He did it! He reproduced. Unfortunately for all involved, Kitten was accidentally left in the room, and he saw the whole thing. He sits in a corner, eyes wide, shaking. Poor guy.

Alright, well. Job done, then. The group tells Ratma that their work here is done, they don't need to be involved anymore. So, what will they do next? Well, Selene's out of money, so she'll need to figure something out about that. Screech, too, is no longer filthy stinkin' rich, since his currency has been under-valued by Copperpot , and his Theonite mines were taken over by the OT. In order to solve either of those problems, however, the party would need to go to Farhold, which would reveal to the OT that Selene is very much alive. That would put Selene's family in danger, so they probably shouldn't do that.

Okay, if not overthrowing the government, or getting revenge on Copperpot, what next? Well, they could return to the surface. They've been hearing rumors of some fighting happening out east. Perhaps a war is brewing. Their services could be put to good use. And Ratma knows that the Grey Dwarves of Morendarith have access to the surface. Selene wants to see what their old friend The Jokester is up to, but Ratma has a feeling they'll be seeing him again.

Or, if they so desire, they can just, kinda... hang around here in Mineford for a while. Actually, that sounds like a great idea. That's exactly what they do.

Short[]

The party returns back to the Cloisters, and gives the Abbott the Bone Golem's tendons. He's able to make a stew to help J'Michael finish. With this in hand, they return to the Goblin Pit Too, and make Griff give J'Michael the stew. J'Michael, alone in the Goblin Pit, does the deed, and lays an egg! With that quest finally complete, the party discusses their next move. They decide to stay here in Mineford for a while.

Trivia[]

  • Day 19 of the campaign.
  • The party is Level 7!
    • T'Chuck can cast more spells.
    • Selene knows the spell Wall of Fire. She also will be casting mage armor constantly, so she has one fewer spell slot, but her AC is 15 now, instead of 12.
    • R'Oarc learned how to throw a lance with her mind. She also knows the spell Prestidigitation (she may have already known this spell).
    • Screech took a fourth level in Rogue, which he claims is his final one. His Dex and Int scores went up by 1.
  • There's a discussion on what day it is. I believe it's Day 19, but between all the traveling back and forth between Mineford and the Cloisters and the Boneyard, it could literally be any time.
  • The boner pills that the Abbott made for them give them a +1 to Charisma, but it's mostly just a confidence boost thing.
  • Kitten is described as being the brewer for The Goblin Pit. Previously, Griff was described as being the brewer, at least he used to be. Maybe they're both brewers.
  • Griff knows where the best freshwater is down here, so they can heat it for bathing. There's also a hot springs. For some reason, they are gendered.
  • Selene was sent to the OT when she was 12 years old.
  • The Grey Dwarves of Morendarith worship Asmodeus, which is a problem.

In This Episode...[]

Cast and Player Characters[]

Non-Player Characters[]

Locations[]

Inventory[]

T'Chuck Selene von Esper R'Oarc Screech Echo General Inventory
Hunting Knife
Heavy Armor[2x06]
+1 Mace of Regnier[2x31]
Diamond worth 300 gp[2x34]
Breast-plate armor[2x34]
Backpack full of various useful things, such as "a tent or two", jerky, bread, cheese, etc.[2x38]
Drider's Longsword[2x58] - Given to Griff, I think
Theonite Collar
Various Books
Devin Decacog's ring from The Farhold Trumpeter[2x14]
Bag of 50 gp[2x22]
Torture Knife[2x05]
D20-sized rock of Theonite[2x16]
Theonite Sending Stone[2x17]
Theonite Ring of Protection[2x19]
5 Potions of Greater Healing[2x23]
Homemade "Resuscitation Kit"[2x38]
Crudely copied map of the tunnels around Mineford[2x55]
Handful of different mushrooms from the tunnel walls[2x55]
Penny candies from the Mineford General Store[2x55]
+1 Battle Claws[2x05]
Grappling Hook[2x01?]
Torch[2x16]
Darkvision Goggles[2x59]
Map of the tunnels around Mineford[2x55]
Crystal that shows some glowing mushrooms[2x55]
200 gp worth of an unknown "silky smooth, highly valuable substance" from the Brain Collector[2x57]
Drider's Longbow[2x58]
Drider's Chain Mail[2x58]
Drider's Leg Meat[2x58]
Ligaments of the Bone Golem[2x60] - Given to The Abbott
[NEW] 69 Boner Pills

Quest Log Updates[]

  • [Complete, I guess?] - Restore Mineford to it's true potential
  • [Complete] - Cure J'Michael's curse
    • [Complete] - Bring the ligaments of a Bone Golem to The Abbott
    • [NEW][Complete] - Give the Boner Stew to J'Michael

Quotes[]

  • "I agree with Jennifer, I think that Jennifer has a vision that just really, the words that she used so eloquently spoke what was going on in my mind..." ~ Nika Howard

Rolls[]

  • T'Chuck rolls Athletics in an attempt to shove Selene into the Goblin Pit Too - 21
    • Against Selene's Athletics roll - 6
      • Fail, she is shoved.

  • T'Chuck rolls Survival to see what he knows about the Grey Dwarves - 19
    • They are generally less friendly than regular Dwarves. Also, something about Mind Flayers. And they worship Asmodeous.

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