| Clown Cave (Campaign 2 - Episode 46) |
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| Information | |
| Release Date: | January 30, 2023 |
| Recording Date: | January 24, 2023 |
| Episode Length: | 59:08 |
| Cast & Characters | |
| Michael DiMauro: | Dungeon Master |
| Tim Lanning: | T'Chuck |
| Jennifer Cheek: | Selene von Esper |
| Nika Howard: | R'Oarc |
| Mike Bachmann: | Screech Echo |
| Guide | |
| Previous Episode: | Next Episode: |
| The Wards | Who Jokes The Jokester? |
That Jokester! He is up to his, I assume, old tricks! Just what is his game here? What goes on in the little freak mind of his?! Our heroes can’t just let a being like that wander around loose. They gotta do something!
Story[]
Long Story[]
The party has successfully rescued R'Oarc from the clutches of the dreaded Jokester. But said Jokester is now missing. R'Oarc says that he had brought her in her to teach her how to pretend to play dead (as you do). He then tickled her a bunch to get her to laugh, then ran off. There may or may not have been a trick flower on his lapel that may or may not have been squirting cum. Listen! I don't make this shit up, alright? I just write what I hear. Even when what I hear is pure, unbridled nonsense. I'm a hero, actually.
Squirrel-Man has not been bitten by anyone recently, yet he does have a fresh new bite wound, strangely. Even stranger is that it's still steaming with an odd green mist. Hopefully that's not too much of an issue. The party is met by a guard, who's surely come to see what all the commotion is about. He tells them to leave. They do. Luthor intercepts them, and is all like, "So, now what, bro?" But Squirrel-Man can't really get involved with the whole "Tux Bux" thing. He's got his own bullshit to deal with here in Rimeford. Luthor asks what he and the rest of the Ex-Wards should do. Squirrel-Man tells them to beat it, get lost, hit the bricks. At the mention of the phrase "Ex-Wards", R'Oarc, interpreting this to be like the X-Men, decides she wants to become an Ex-Ward. Never one to pass up an opportunity for a crossover event, Squirrel-Man agrees, and "knights" her as a Ward. He then fires her. She's now an Ex-Ward! She doesn't get any powers or anything.
Well, it's getting late. Screech tries to go back to his room in the Keep, but some bozos destroyed it! He reluctantly heads back to his broom closet at The Goblin Pit. T'Chuck and R'Oarc return to their underground home, and Selene returns to her room in the Goblin Pit as well, despondent as she realizes that her room doesn't have any windows...
The next morning, they wake feeling stronger, wiser, faster. More "Leveled Up", so to speak. But it wouldn't truly be morning without breakfast, so Screech and Selene rise from their respective rooms/broom closets and give their orders to Ratma Ritmo. Meat must be off today. Ratma's a little distracted, reading the morning edition of The Farhold Trumpeter, but she... wait, whaaat? The Farhold Trumpeter? That's right, and look! The front-page headline reads "Trumpeter says NO to Censorship". This can't be good. After Ratma discards the issue and goes to prepare breakfast, Selene snatches it up and scans through it. The cover story tells of the heroic Editor in Chief, Professor Devin Decacog, defeating the intrusive command of The Order. It's a very scathing article criticizing the Emperor and his fascist ways. Fortunately, Selene is not mentioned by name. Neither is the town of Rimeford. That's a relief. The article does say that Decacog is currently in hiding, in an undisclosed location. There are some other stories featured as well:
- War continues to the east
- Whitmore Forts doesn't require anyone to send aid.
- The Bartell and Rewayne families are to be united in the wedding of the decade.
- "Tux Bux" have been taking the capital by storm. After a successful trial at the Fireberg Lounge, O.C. Copperpot has made deals with local pubs and taverns to purchase booze with Tux Bux.
R'Oarc decides to take a stroll out the graveyard, to meet with local gravedigger, Wally Bonebraids. Following their battle recently, Bonebraids' shack is in a bit of a shambles, but there is a lean-to propped up over said shambles. Did you guys know that the word "shambles" is singular? It's fucked up. But not as fucked up as R'Oarc basically demanding that Bonebraids cut off one of his own fingers and give it to her! Now, why she does this, I'm not entirely sure. She initially just wanted to ask for some spare bones from the graveyard, to "put them together" for some reason. But there was a misunderstanding as to WHO'S bones specifically she was interested in. And then they just kind of ran with it. And Bonebraids, who has a history of submitting to powerful women, agrees. And so he cuts off his own finger, and gives it to R'Oarc. This is where we are now. R'Oarc tries to make things better by healing him, but this just clues him into the fact that she's a magic user. She demands that he tell no-one, and also demands that he give her all the spare bones he has. He tells her to come back tomorrow morning, and he'll have them ready. As thanks, R'Oarc gives him a sausage roll but (again, for reasons unknown), she sticks one of Ratma's toenails into it. He eats it, and collapses on the floor, convulsing and foaming at the mouth. And R'Oarc... leaves him there. She's a full on chaotic demon at this point, and to be honest, I'm kind of into it.
Meanwhile, T'Chuck decides that he's seen a lot of weirdness lately regarding the banned god Regnier. Despite his misgivings, he decides to go to the temple, and leaves an offering of a potted plant at Regnier's alter. Or at least, where the alter WOULD be, if they were allowed to worship any gods besides Reya. And no-one sees him do this, since the former Priestess of Reya was recently killed. R'Oarc returns to her room and does a bit of journaling, before practicing her newly learned Animate Dead spell on the newly acquired finger. Selene, meanwhile, thinks about the Adepts that are going to be coming soon to collect the Theonite. She decides to go and visit Granona Flintbeard, to make sure everything is in order for the Adepts arrival. Granona, who once had a delicate Southern drawl to her voice, now sounds a lot like Dick van Dyke, with a nearly unintelligible cockney accent. So, that's fun. She tells Selene that everything is in order. The Knockers down in the mines had gifted the party with a large reserve of Theonite, and now Granona's miners are collecting it. They are, however, moving a bit slowly, since there is still a family of Hook Horrors living down there. Seems that after Screech and Selene went down there and riled them up, they've been causing more and more of a ruckus. But hopefully, that shouldn't be too much of an issue. We'll see.
Well, the Ex-Wards are getting ready to leave. Everything seems to be in order, except... wait a minute... Has anyone seen the Jokester? Ever since the whole "R'Oarc being kidnapped for, like, the eighth time this week" thing, no-one's seen him. That can't be good. T'Chuck demands that the circus members stay and help look for Jokester, they can't just leave him behind. Fortunately, Screech is able to find some clown shoe prints that lead off into the forests. UNfortunately, he can't stay to help them, as he has an impromptu business meeting to attend to. To the surprise of nobody, Screech leaves. The rest of the party, which includes the Ex-Wards, all head into the forests, and come upon a cave. Selene speculates that this cave could be full of clowns. A Clown Cave!
A voice calls out to them from the tree-tops. It warns them that, though the cave is dark and full of terrors clowns, it ain't gonna be no fun house. The only thing lurking in this cave, is danger... It's Beholder-doodle, you guys. And for some reason, he smells like trash, just like the Squirrel-Man did. Weird! R'Oarc casts Light to illuminate a small rock, and tosses it into the cave. It either hits someone, or the voice that calls out "Ow!" must be merely a coincidence. I put my money on the former...
Short[]
R'Oarc becomes Squirrel-Man's ward, and then is fired. She is now an Ex-Ward. They all go to sleep, and level up the next morning! T'Chuck gives an offering to Regnier. Selene asks Granona Flintbeard if everything is ready for the Adepts imminent arrival, and it all is. Except for the Hook Horrors in the mines, slowing down their gathering of Theonite. As the circus is about to leave, they notice that the Jokester is gone, so the party goes out to the woods in search of him. The circus comes along, too. They track him to a cave outside of town, which R'Oarc throws a rock into. A voice says "Ow!"...
Trivia[]
- Day
1314 of the campaign.- When they wake up in the morning, they've leveled up!
- Screech returns to his "room" in the Goblin Pit, despite having been banned by Ratma.
- Selene's room doesn't have any windows.
- For breakfast, Selene has a cup of hot tea, one hard boiled egg, and a hunk of bread.
- Screech has a scotch egg.
- The Rewayne family is one of the smallest, but richest houses. They are located "in and around" Whitmore Fort.
- "Cobblepot" (he of the Amazing Menagerie) has been renamed to Copperpot, presumably for legal reasons.
- The reference to the Fireberg Lounge is especially clever, as there is a famous DC character I won't name here, who's villainous lair was in "The Iceberg Lounge". Good one, Michael.
- The landscape surrounding Rimeford is described as "Mountainous".
- There's talk of whether or not Granona has spoken before. She, in fact, has. They had a lengthy conversation way back in Episode 7 about the mines and the Knockers. Then, she had a kindly Southern accent. Now, she speaks with a thick Cockney brogue.
- The Jokester was never a ward of Screech. He was hired via a want ad that the circus put out, as they needed a clown. He was just super down to clown, so to speak, in terms of kidnapping R'Oarc.
In This Episode...[]
Cast and Player Characters[]
- Michael DiMauro - Dungeon Master
- Tim Lanning - T'Chuck
- Jennifer Cheek - Selene von Esper
- Nika Howard - R'Oarc
- Mike Bachmann - Screech Echo / Squirrel-Man (Screech) / Beholder-doodle (Screech)
Non-Player Characters[]
Locations[]
- Drunkeros
- Whispering Peaks
- Rimeford
- Cobblepot's Amazing Menagerie
- Ridgewood Keep
- The Goblin Pit
- The graveyard
- The forests outside of town
- Rimeford
- Whispering Peaks
Inventory[]
| T'Chuck | Selene von Esper | R'Oarc | Screech Echo | General Inventory | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Quest Log Updates[]
- [On-Hold] - Stop The Cult of Ugnos
- [On-Hold] - Investigate Thistledown
- [On-Hold] - Protect the dragon
- [NEW][Active] - Find The Jokester
- [Screech][On-Hold] - Stop Cobblepot and his economy-crashing "Tux Bux"
- [R'Oarc][Abandoned?] - Help Lucee move from the White Spire to the crypts in the graveyard
Quotes[]
- "I'm sorry you feel that way." ~ Squirrel-Man
- "Okay, what if I need T'Chuck to wipe my butt now?" ~ Nika Howard, unfortunately
- "This is the last episode of the podcast that Woody Allen ever listens to." ~ Mike Bachmann
- "So, not only did Selene and Screech NOT do their job, but they made it worse. That's cool. That's a cool thing for Tim Lanning to file back away." ~ Tim Lanning
- "We leave clowns in towns all the time!" ~ Luthor
- "The Clown Prints in the sand!" ~ Jennifer Cheek
Rolls[]
- T'Chuck rolls a d20 to see how big a fish he catches - 2
- It's a small Lake Trout
- R'Oarc rolls Persuasion to convince Wally Bonebraids to cut off his finger and give it to her - 27
- He, um... He does.
- T'Chuck rolls Intimidation to scare Luthor into staying to look for the Jokester (with Advantage, due to Inspiration) - 19
- Luthor agrees to look for him, but isn't optimistic that he can find him
- Screech rolls Survival to see if he can track The Jokester - 14
- He's able to pick up some fresh clown tracks