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New Best Friend Alert
(Campaign 2 - Episode 38)
Dnd cover c2-38

Selene von Esper, with Drop Bear watching from above

Information
Release Date: November 21, 2022
Recording Date: November 15, 2022
Episode Length: 1:13:34
Cast & Characters
Michael DiMauro: Dungeon Master
Tim Lanning: T'Chuck
Jennifer Cheek: Selene von Esper
Nika Howard: R'Oarc
Mike Bachmann: Screech Echo
Guide
Previous Episode: Next Episode:
Turns Have Tabled The Bears


Our heroes world’s are broken open with some brand new revelations and new allies. Hopefully this doesn’t create more problems down the road. New friends new problems and all that.

Story[]

Long Story[]

The party stands in the center of town, having just defeated a giant monster, and are surrounded by a gathering crowd. Among the crowd is the fiendish Alandra Thorne, accusing the party of being the ones who created the monster! The nerve! Also present in Sir Rex Yalos. Selene begins to tell him that there's been a misunderstanding, but Yalos cuts her off. He summons forward Captain Clint, who produces a giant, scary-looking halberd, and stabs it right into the back of... Alandra Thorne! She dies! Holy shit!

The crowd goes wild! Yalos calms everyone down, and announces that Thorne was never, in fact, a priestess of Reya, but was, in fact, a magical creature he calls a "Hoffenblitzer". T'Chuck and Selene know that there's no such thing as a "Hoffenblitzer", although, Yalos's statement does assuage the crowd. He instructs the crowd to go home, but tells the party to follow him back to his castle.

The group (which somehow manages to include Ratma Ritmo) absconds back to Ridgewood Keep, where they meet up with Rex's husband, Ashton. Now, away from prying ears, there's a debriefing that takes place. T'Chuck comes clean about being able to do some light magic, and Selene reveals that she knows about it. She's beginning to get more comfortable with the idea of people doing magic around her. Ashton shows everyone that he, too, is a magic user, by casting Prestidigitation. Selene is immediately less comfortable. Also, T'Chuck tells Clint where Wally Bonebraids was stashed.

Yalos gives the party some information, too. He knows that Thorne wasn't really a "Hoffenblitzer" (a thing which doesn't exist). He believes that there is a Cult of Ugnos operating out of the nearby city of Thistledown. R'Oarc suggests invading Thistledown, to eliminate the threat, but Yalos tells them that there are... other matters at hand. Matters much closer to home.

Ashton leads the party deeper into the castle. Down into the basement, through a locked door, and into Ashton's secret lab. Here, he's been practicing alchemy. As if this weren't secretive enough, Ashton tugs on a book on bookshelf (where else?), which reveals a secret staircase, etched right into the stone. Down, deeper and deeper they descend, as Ashton tells them that the these tunnels are connected to the mines. Soon, they come upon a large door with many locks on it. Ashton and Rex work to unlock the door, while warning them that what they are about to see may be... upsetting. Viewer discretion is advised. The party enters the room, and are introduced to... The last dragon.

It's young, and small, about the size of a horse. It has a hard time walking, stumbling all around as it approaches them. It's green, and can speak, although its words seem slurred. Rex explains that the only thing they've been able to feed him is a special kind of mead that's brewed up by the nearby Grizzly-folk. They're actually running out of the stuff, and relations with the Grizzly-folk aren't great these days. R'Oarc feeds the dragon (which doesn't have a name) a sausage roll, which it eagerly scarfs down.

The party asks how Rex got his hands on this dragon, but it's Ratma Ritmo who answers. She was actually the one that brought it here, though she doesn't go into more detail than that. Dragons are innately tied to magic, and the fact that there's no magic left in the world is likely the reason that this little guy is so sickly and weak. Though they have noticed that, since Selene's been in Rimeford, the dragon's been acting more alert, and perking up. As a test, T'Chuck casts Cure Wounds on himself, and the dragon does, indeed, perk up at the sudden burst of magic.

Selene, who's been doing her best to be chill about everything, is having a real hard time with this dragon. This is super illegal, like, advanced illegal. If she's found out to have been keeping this a secret, she's in Big Serious Trouble (BST). And, the OT is going to be here in a few short days! But Rex points out how weak and sickly it is. They can't just leave it out on its own. It wouldn't survive.

They learn that dragons reproduce through masturbation, so only one dragon is required to make a new dragon. That means that, when this dragon is old enough, it will be able to make baby dragons all on its own. R'Oarc tries to show it some of the porn they found in Alandra Thorne's room, but it doesn't really take any notice. There's no dragon stuff in it. Anyway, they need to keep this dragon alive until it gets old enough to... make new dragons, and that means they'll need more of that special mead. Rex requests that the party go to the Grizzly-folk village to get more. But, he warns, the Grizzly-folk will require a gift be brought, in return for the mead. Rex mentions a particular ogre who's been roaming the woods, causing trouble for the Grizzly-folk. R'Oarc remembers being killed by an ogre out in the woods, one that was causing problems for a Grizzly-folk named Beary. The party agrees to go out and kill the ogre.

But first, it's bedtime. Actually, it's early morning, seeing as how they were at a party all night, and then they went to Wally Bonebraids's shack, and then went into town to fight Alandra's monster, and then were brought to the keep. So, it's morning of Day 10 of the campaign at this point. They decide to head out to hunt the ogre at night, per Screech's request (even though Screech won't be joining them), so they all head back to their respective homes to take a 12 hour long rest.

They each wake up around sundown later that day. Selene, R'Oarc, and T'Chuck meet up at the Goblin Pit. Screech is absent. They decide to come up with a code-word to use in place of the word "dragon", since they don't want anyone else knowing about it. The word they land on is "Rutabaga", a word that I had never written out until this very moment. I had no idea how it was spelled, and I'm surprised to learn that it's spelled "Rutabaga". Huh...

Anyway, Beholder-doodle appears! He jumps out from beneath a nearby table, and agrees to join them on their mission. They prepare for their mission in a very nebulous way, by saying that they bring a bunch of bullshit with them. They don't specify a lot of it, but T'Chuck mentions a backpack with some extra supplies, including a tent "or two" and some food (jerky, bread, cheese). R'Oarc brings along a "Resuscitation Kit", one that she made herself with a bunch of found objects. And with that, they head out.

Being that it's late fall, there's a chill in the air. That doesn't stop our heroes, though. They have important work to do: Finding the ogre. But how could they do that? Shit! Ogre shit, to be specific! They're able to use their tracking skills to pay the bills, and by "pay the bills", I mean "find some ogre scat on the ground that leads them right to the ogre's hideout". Actually, there are two of them, sitting around a large campfire near a hillside. R'Oarc does recognize one of them as Karnak, the ogre that killed her.

The party is able to sneak up on the ogres, and make short work of them. Selene blasts both ogres with a bunch of Fire Balls, sending one of the ogres knocked back into the bonfire. It gets incinerated, while R'Oarc stabs Karnak with her rapier, and he gets eviscerated.

And the battle is won.

Short[]

Alandra is revealed to be evil! Rex has her executed right there on the streets. He then brings the party back to his castle, where they explain everything. Thorne is working with a Cult of Ugnos! Ashton is a magic user! And they are keeping a secret in the deepest tunnels beneath the keep: The last dragon! It's too young to reproduce right now, but they have to keep it safe until then. The only thing it "eats" is a special kind of mead made solely by the Grizzly-folk, but Yalos is running low. Our heroes are tasked with getting some more mead, but to do so, they need to bring a gift to the Grizzly-folk. They venture out into the woods with the help of their new friend, Beholder-doodle, and find Karnak and another ogre. The party is able to kill these two ogres.

Trivia[]

  • Day 10 of the campaign.
    • It was Day 9 last episode, and they stayed up until the early morning of Day 10. In this episode, they slept until evening of Day 10.
  • "Several times a year" someone goes missing down in the mines, due to their inherent danger, and twisty turny layout.
  • Screech carries a personal puke bucket around with him at all times. Gross!
  • Screech had told Gertie to meet him, but then didn't meet her.
  • T'Chuck is an Aries.
    • They have Aries's in this world.
  • The moon is currently half full.
  • Beholder-doodle is still using the bear claws he got before, but they are red now.

In This Episode...[]

Cast and Player Characters[]

Non-Player Characters[]

Locations[]

Inventory[]

T'Chuck Selene von Esper R'Oarc Screech Echo General Inventory
48 Gold
Hunting Knife
Bear Pelt[2x02]
A stick[2x04]
R'Oarc's Quill[2x04]
Mining Hammer[2x05]
Mining Helmet[2x05]
Heavy Armor[2x06]
5 Gold worth of "general cool stuff"[2x27]
Head of Carrion Crawler[2x28]
Etching of a strange symbol[2x30]
+1 Mace of Regnier[2x31]
27 donuts[2x34]
Diamond worth 300 gp[2x34]
Breast-plate armor[2x34]
[NEW] Backpack full of various useful things, such as "a tent or two", jerky, bread, cheese, etc.
Theonite Collar
Various Books
Devin Decacog's ring from The Farhold Trumpeter[2x14]
Bag of 50 gp[2x22]
Bear Skull[2x02]
Torture Knife[2x05]
D20-sized rock of Theonite[2x16]
Theonite Sending Stone[2x17]
Knife with another knife attached[2x19]
Theonite Ring of Protection[2x19]
5 Potions of Greater Healing[2x23]
[NEW] Homemade "Resuscitation Kit"
30,000 Dollars (not gold pieces)
Meat Flask
+1 Battle Claws[2x05]
Dirt Scooping Pen[2x13]
Grappling Hook[2x01?]
Torch[2x16]
Bits of Theonite[2x16]
Theonite Sending Stone[2x19]
Tinkering components worth 300 gp[2x34]
Various lab equipment, such as scalpels and syringes[2x16]
Several drawings of ants[2x16]
Magical Bolt Cutters[2x25]
A bunch of Theonite[2x29]

Quest Log Updates[]

Quotes[]

  • "'Woah! Holy fuck! Holy fuck! Ahhhh!' is both what Tim and T'Chuck says." ~ Tim Lanning
  • "Can dragons talk?... That's a dumb-ass question, we've met a ton of dragons that can talk." ~ Mike Bachmann
  • "Does the ogre like weird porn?" ~ An exasperated Screech Echo

Rolls[]

  • Everyone rolls Wisdom after talking with Yalos
    • T'Chuck - "high 20's"
    • R'Oarc - 9
    • Selene - 20
    • Screech - 5
      • T'Chuck and Selene know that there's no such thing as a "Hoffenblitzer". Screech and R'Oarc know nothing

  • They all roll Survival to try to find Beary
    • T'Chuck - 26
    • Screech - Nat 20
    • Selene - 17
    • R'Oarc - 13
      • They (collectively) find some ogre scat

  • Everyone rolls Stealth to sneak up on the ogres
    • Selene - 16 + 0?
    • Screech - Nat 20 + 9
    • T'Chuck - 14
    • R'Oarc - 22
      • They all get a surprise round

Combat Begins vs 2 Ogres


Surprise Round


  • R'Oarc
    • Casts Bane on both Ogres, requiring DC 14 Charisma Saving Throws
      • Ogre 1 - 7
        • Fail - Is Bane'd
      • Ogre 2 - 4
        • Fail - Is Bane'd

  • T'Chuck
    • Casts Bless on R'Oarc, Beholder-doodle, and Selene

  • Selene
    • Casts Fire Ball on both Ogres, requiring Dexterity Saving Throws (minus 1d4)
      • Ogre 1 - ??
        • Fail - 35 Fire damage
      • Ogre 2 - ??
        • Fail - 35 Fire damage

  • Beholder-doodle
    • Melee Attack vs Ogre 1 {x2} - 23, 19
      • Hit, Hit - 24 damage
    • Action Surge to gain another attack
    • Melee Attack vs Ogre 1 - 17
      • Hit - 8 damage

  • Initiative
    • Beholder-doodle - 24
    • T'Chuck - Nat 20 + 2
    • Selene - 14
    • R'Oarc - 8

  • Beholder-doodle
    • Melee Attack vs Ogre 1 - 23
      • Hit - 12 damage
    • Uses Bonus Action to Disengage

  • T'Chuck
    • Casts Spiritual Weapon to create a flying log
    • Spiritual Weapon attack vs Ogre 1 - 23
      • Hit - 18 Force damage
    • Casts Guiding Bolt on Ogre 1 - 22
      • Hit - 10 Radiant damage

  • Ogre 1
    • Melee Attack (Club) vs T'Chuck {x2} - 8, <8
      • Miss, Miss

  • R'Oarc
    • Melee Attack (Rapier) vs Karnak - 20
      • Hit - 8 damage - Kills It!

  • Selene
    • Casts Fire Bolt vs Ogre 2 - 20
      • Hit - 18 Fire damage
    • Uses a Bonus action to Telekinetic Shove Ogre 2, requiring a Strength Saving Throw - 10
      • Fail - It is shoved 5 ft back, into the bonfire - Kills It!

Combat Ends


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