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Marching Two by Two
(Campaign 2 - Episode 15)
Release Date: May 9, 2022
Recording Date: May 3, 2022
Episode Length: 1:09:12
Cast & Characters
Michael DiMauro: Dungeon Master
Tim Lanning: T'Chuck
Jennifer Cheek: Selene von Esper
Nika Howard: R'Oarc
Mike Bachmann: Screech Echo
Previous Episode: Next Episode:
Bugged Out Big Bad Beetle Beasts

These odd bugs continue to do strange things so we, your brave heroes follow them deeper into their weird hole. Surely nothing bad will happen. Good luck to them.


Long Story[]

Professor Devin Decacog, through some mysterious means (actually, Selene did it), has been shoved into a slimey goo wall. He's trapped, and can't breath! The party leaps into action to save him. Screech, as the Man-Ant, has a grappling hook, obviously, which he uses to tie to an arrow, and shoots into the wall, next to Decacog. Unfortunately, the Gnome is unable to reach for it. Well, only one thing left to try at this point. Screech aims, and fires. His arrow strikes true. It pierces Decacog right in the arm! Ouch. Even more ouch is when he begins Tugging on the rope. Everyone else grabs on as well, and, after a long and intense (and painful) game of Tug of War, Decacog is finally freed from the wall. He's safe!

Decacog thanks Ant-Man for saving him. And that's when Ant-Man reveals his secret. He lifts his mask off his face, revealing himself to secretly be... Drop Bear! Who is the same as Koala T! But different from Squirrel Man! And Sreech! Got it? With that reveal, Drop-Ant-Koala-Man points behind everyone to distract them and runs off, Back to the Future style. Welp, anyway, only way out is through, so the party continues on, deeper into the mines. T'Chuck patches up Decacogs wounds, and Dictionary Doug takes him back out of the caves, to get medical attention. This is sad news for me, who wants Dictionary Doug to become a party member.

After some time, the party is met by Screech, out of costume again. He claims to have been carried off by the ants. T'Chuck, viewing Screech as a useless piece of shit, tells him to go back with Doug and Decacog, but he refuses. These caves may connect with the mines, after all, and, as Screech doesn't for some reason say: "These mines are mines." He wants to make sure they're safe. For some reason, not because he was wearing an ant costume or anything, one of the ants seems romantically interested in Screech. But he plays hard to get, and the ant is rejected. Bummer for that ant. What the hell is this show, by the way?

Anyway, the party eventually comes up to a fork in the tunnels. One path slopes downward, and the other has a mysterious buzzing sounds coming from it. Selene suggests not going toward the buzzing sound, maybe they could come back later with reinforcements to check that out. They agree, so they head the other way, downwards, which is also where the ants are going. Selene suggests bringing back reinforcements to investigate that buzzing sounds later. The path takes them to the end of the ant trail, where the dog-sized insects are depositing their food caches into a pile. That's gross, but not too bad. What's bad is the giant scorpion that attacks them!

What's good is that they're able to beat it. During the battle, T'Chuck casts Spiritual Weapon, and attempts to hide it. But it is noticed by Screech. Selene finishes the creature off the same way she did the last giant insect they fought: crushing its head with Maximilian's Earthen Grasp.


Screech shoots Decacog with an arrow, attached to a rope, and pulls him out of the goop wall, very painfully. The others help. Dictionary Doug takes him back to get help while the others press on. They find the end of the ant line, where the ants are depositing their food, and they also find a giant scorpion that attacks them. They defeat it.


  • When Selene uses different magic spells, she gets different shimmery effects. When she uses Maximilian's Earthen Grasp, her eyes glow gold.

In This Episode...[]

Cast and Player Characters[]

Non-Player Characters[]



T'Chuck Selene von Esper R'Oarc Screech Echo General Inventory
(More than) 5 gp, 17 sp
Hunting Knife
Bear Pelt[2x02]
A stick[2x04]
R'Oarc's Quill[2x04]
Mining Hammer[2x05]
Mining Helmet[2x05]
Heavy Armor[2x06]
Theonite Collar
Various Books
Devin Decacog's ring from The Farhold Trumpeter[2x14]
Bear Skull[2x02]
Torture Knife[2x05]
30,000 Dollars (not gold pieces)
Meat Flask
+1 Battle Claws[2x05]
Dirt Scooping Pen[2x13]
[NEW?????????] Grappling Hook?

Quest Log Updates[]


  • "'I knew it! I knew it!' I say, lyingly." ~ Tim Lanning
  • "I think there will come a time when my character is a true creature of the night, and can find his way around [in the dark]. Today is not that day, so if you want to say 'Fuck off', that's totally fair." ~ Screech


  • Screech makes an Attack roll to shoot the wall to get Decacog out of the wall - 21
    • He shoots it perfectly, right into Dececeog's hand. Not like, INTO his hand, but like he's holding it, you know

  • Screech does another attack roll, this time to actually hit him - 16
    • Hit - He pierces Decacog

  • T'Chuck and Screech roll Strength to yank Decacog out of the goo wall
    • T'Chuck - Nat 20
    • Screech - 13
      • It's mostly T'Chuck doing the work, but it's working!

  • Screech rolls Stealth to run away - 22
    • He runs away, unnoticed

  • They all roll Perception while exploring the tunnels
    • Screech - Nat 20
    • R'Oarc - 20
    • Selene - Doesn't roll
    • T'Chuck - Doesn't roll
      • They hear a buzzing sound coming from one of the tunnels

Combat Begins vs Scorpion Creature

  • Initiative
    • Scorpion Creature
    • T'Chuck - 17
    • Selene - 12
    • R'Oarc - 10
    • Screech - Nat 1

Round One

  • Scorpion Creature
    • Melee Attack (Claw) vs T'Chuck (x2) - 22, 16
      • Hit, Miss - 6 Bludgeoning damage, and he is grappled
    • Melee Attack (Stinger) vs R'Oarc - 9
      • Miss

  • T'Chuck
    • Rolls Athletics to break the grapple - 15
      • He escapes!
    • Uses a Bonus Action to Help

  • Selene
    • Casts Sleep (Second Level) - 19 HP
      • Doesn't put it to sleep
    • Uses a Bonus Action to Telekinetic Shove the creature, requiring a Strength Saving Throw - ??
      • Fail - It is shoved
    • Also uses a Sorcery Point to cast Ray of Frost - 17
      • Hit - 4 Cold damage, and speed is reduced

  • R'Oarc
    • Melee Attack (Rapier) (with Advantage, because of T'Chuck's Help which Selene didn't claim, so R'Oarc is claiming it. This shouldn't work, but Michael is a gracious god, and he allows it) - 23
      • Hit - 4 damage
    • Gives T'Chuck Bardic Inspiration

  • Screech
    • Does a Perception to see if he can find the scorpion in the dark - Nat 1
      • He can't hit at all
    • Ranged Attack - ??
      • Miss

  • Scorpion Creature
    • Melee Attack (Claw) vs T'Chuck - 21
      • Hit - 6 Bludgeoning damage, and he is grappled again
    • Melee Attack (Claw) vs Selene - 7
      • Miss
    • Melee Attack (Stinger) vs R'Oarc - 8
      • Miss

  • T'Chuck
    • Casts Healing Word to heal himself for - 6 HP
    • Rolls Athletics to break the grapple - 15
      • He escapes!

  • Selene
    • Casts Maximilian's Earthen Grasp requiring the creature to make a DC 13 STR saving throw - 10
      • Fail - 3 Bludgeoning damage, and it is restrained

  • R'Oarc
    • Melee Attack (Rapier) - 18
      • Hit - 4 damage

  • Screech
    • Ranged Attack - 17
      • Hit - 12 damage

  • Scorpion Creature
    • Melee Attack (Stinger) vs Selene (with Disadvantage) - 2
      • Miss
    • Melee Attack (Claw) vs Selene - 23
      • Hit - 6 Bludgeoning damage, and she is grappled, also requires a Constitution saving throw to maintain Concentration - 8
        • She maintains Concentration
    • Melee Attack (Claw) vs R'Oarc - 15
      • Hit - 6 Bludgeoning damage, and she is grappled

  • T'Chuck
    • Rolls Athletics to break R'Oarc free of the grapple - 20
      • She escapes!
    • Casts Spiritual Weapon to look like a giant ram
    • Spiritual Weapon Attack - 19
      • Hit - 12 Force(?) damage

  • Selene
    • Crushes the creature with Maximilian's Earthen Grasp, requiring the creature to make a DC 13 STR saving throw - 10
      • Fail - 4 Bludgeoning damage - Kills It

Combat Ends