| Rock Hard Heroes (Campaign 2 - Episode 122) |
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| Information | |
| Release Date: | December 2, 2024 |
| Recording Date: | November 26, 2024 |
| Episode Length: | 1:10:08 |
| Cast & Characters | |
| Michael DiMauro: | Dungeon Master |
| Tim Lanning: | T'Chuck |
| Jennifer Cheek: | Selene von Esper |
| Nika Howard: | R'Oarc |
| Mike Bachmann: | Screech Echo |
| Guide | |
| Previous Episode: | Next Episode: |
| Armored to Protect Those that I Love | Aliases Aplenty |
The underground mushroom farm seems to have a beast who has taking a liking to its tenders. Maybe the folks in the resistance are soft, but these freaking monsters made quick work of them. Time for the real heroes to step and show them how things are done.
Story[]
Long Story[]
T'Chuck, R'Oarc, Screech, and Selene are the four newest recruits into the magical Resistance against the Empire. And, they've just been given their first mission: To investigate the nearby underground gardens, which supply the Resistance with much needed food. The last few sentries who had gone to check out the gardens haven't returned, so now, Ratma Ritmo needs someone sturdier, who won't be horribly killed on their mission. That's where our heroes come in. After heading out of the main gate keeping the Resistance headquarters secure, it's basically a straight shot down the sewer tunnels to get to the gardens. And, since they can all see in the dark, there's no need for torches, or anything like that. Man, this is gonna be easy!
Not long after beginning their trek, a rich garlic-y aroma begins wafting toward them. Eventually, they reach the entrance to the gardens: A pergola covered in mushrooms. A pergola is, apparently, kind of like a gazebo, or an awning, specifically for gardens to grow under. And, sitting there, among the mushrooms (amongshrooms?) is a statue. It appears to be a human shape. The figure's face is twisted into a shocked look of alarm. Weird design choice for a statue. Unless, of course, that's no statue. T'Chuck, having fought against the wizards of the White Spire in the Mage Wars, knows a thing or two about magical traps, curses, and general bad-ness. If this "statue" was once a person, then that can only mean one thing. Or, like, one of three possible things. It's either a Medusa, a Cockatrice, or a Basilisk. None of those things are good. Those are all the "turn you to stone if you look them in the eyes" kind of things.
Looking around the area, Selene notices some tracks on the ground. There are different types, so it seems to be a few creatures creeping around here. One set of prints seems to be from a clawed creature, one is from something long and slithery, and then there are some "regular footprints". She points these out to the others. T'Chuck is nervous. They need to go tracking this creature, but first, T'Chuck casts Greater Restoration on the statue.
And it works! He turns back into a human. The man is French (does France exist in this world?), and says that his name is Alucard. Or, actually, it's Alucart. Or, actually it's Alacart. He warns them to run away, saying that the mushrooms are lost, they should just abandon them. When asked what's going on around here, Alacart says that there's more than one creature, and then adds "It's a trick". He doesn't clarify what that means. But he does say that there's a Gorgon around here! And she has pets. Uh oh.
T'Chuck tells Alacart to return back to headquarters (with a bunch of mushrooms), and warn everyone what happened here. And, to tell them to send some more people who can cast Greater Restoration, assuming that the other missing people have also been turned to stone. Alacart does this.
Alright, well, now what? They need to find that Gorgon/Medusa, so R'Oarc steps up to the plate. R'Oarc, by the way, is super weird now. She's got a suit of armor on, which is styled like an Iron Maiden. In fact, that seems to be her superhero name. She's metal as hell. She's got a Shield of Crows, which she activates now. With a guitar riff, and a crash of thunder, a swarm of corvids erupts from the sheild, and go flying into the air. Bad-fucking-ass. These birds go up, and begin looking around, scouting for the creatures. And, they seem to find them. Some of the birds turn to stone, and go falling back to the ground. The party is able to use these falling birds to find their target.
There's a brief discussion on how they should head into battle. They could go in stealthily, or barrel in, guns blazing. It sounds like Screech is going to sneak up on them, with Haste from R'Oarc (which is now done by her blowing a mysterious powder in his face), but then everyone just rolls initiative, and starts fighting. So, I guess they just start fighting. And what are they fighting? Well, there's one Medusa (which may also be called a Gorgon), and a Basilisk (which is not really like a snake, as you might be thinking). Of course, the party can't get a good look at them, since looking at them directly would cause them to turn to stone. Instead, they look away, and have to kind of swing wildly to hit the creatures.
R'Oarc goes first. She swings her new Thunder Gauntlets at Medusa, but misses. She's supposed to be able to swing twice, but takes her hand off the board before remembering her second attack. So, even though she rolled good, she can't attack. That's a damn shame. In response, Medusa slashes R'Oarc with a sword, and then her snake hair gives her a bunch of nibbles. Gross! Screech runs up to Medusa, and is able to hit her 4 times! He uses one of his special abilities to run away without getting opportunity attacked. Selene sends a Fireball into the fray. It wounds both creatures, but she's able to carefully avoid hitting R'Oarc directly. She does take half damage, but it's no big deal. T'Chuck sends his Spirit Guardians in as well, which chip away at the beasts. In fact, the Basilisk is killed, before it even got to attack. Nice!
Now, with just Medusa to deal with, the party is able to make short work of her. It's ultimately Screech who does the killing blow, and with that, the battle is won.
Short[]
The party goes to the mushroom gardens, where they find a statue. It's actually a French dude named "Alacart" who was frozen by Medusa, who's hanging out there. They send Alacart back to headquarters, then go and attack Medusa and her Basilisk pet. It's a pretty short battle, despite the fact that the party can't look at these creatures directly. Both Medusa and the Basilisk are killed.
Trivia[]
- R'Oarc wants to get a picture with the Alacart statue, but, since cameras haven't been invented yet, Screech needs to draw them. R'Oarc asks for him to draw T'Chuck picking Alacart's nose, which he does. But, it's more like a caricature. And instead of "picking his nose", it's more like "has both fists shoved up each of the statue's nostrils". That either sounds like the worst picture of all time, or the greatest. I can't really tell.
- So, the whole "Gorgon" thing is pretty weird, and we have to talk about it. In traditional folk-lore, the creature we know to be called "Medusa" (you know, scary, with snakes for hair, turns you to stone when you look at her), is one of three creatures. These creatures are called "Gorgons". So, Medusa is the name of one of the Gorgons. Kind of like how Dracula is the name of a Vampire. Makes sense. Except, in D&D, that race of creatures is actually just called "Medusas". There are many Medusas, according to the books. And the name "Gorgon", is instead given to another creature, a weird cow-like thing. These Gorgons can also turn people to stone, with a Petrifying Breath. So, it's a little unclear if Michael was talking about a Gorgon in the folk-lore sense, or a Gorgon in the D&D sense. There is a Medusa creature in this episode, and Alacart does refer to the Gorgon as "she", and says "she has pets", which would imply that the Medusa is the Gorgon. But, at the same time, "pets" is multiple, and there was only one in this episode. On top of that, there are clawed hoof prints in the ground, implying that a D&D Gorgon is also running around. So, we'll see what happens in the next episode, I guess.
- Alacart has 17 kids, for some reason.
- After saving Alacart, T'Chuck begins gloating that he's a hero. To knock him down a few pegs, Selene puts her doll Serena up to his face. It says the only phrase it knows right now "I want cranberry beer". Apparently, the trigger for it speaking is seeing T'Chuck's face.
- R'Oarc claims to still have Stephanie's bones, even though Stephanie was supposed to have been given to Grimshaw Shadowhoof.
- Apparently, R'Oarc still has some weird ability to animate these bones, despite no longer being a necromancing bard.
In This Episode...[]
Cast and Player Characters[]
- Michael DiMauro - Dungeon Master
- Tim Lanning - T'Chuck
- Jennifer Cheek - Selene von Esper
- Nika Howard - R'Oarc
- Mike Bachmann - Screech Echo
Non-Player Characters[]
- Alacart
Locations[]
- Drunkeros
- Farhold
- The Resistance Headquarters
- The Resistance's Mushroom Gardens
- The Resistance Headquarters
- Farhold
Inventory[]
| T'Chuck | Selene von Esper | R'Oarc | Screech Echo | General Inventory | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Quest Board[]
- [Active] - Help the Resistance!
- [Complete] -
Investigate the Mushroom Gardens
- [Complete] -
- [???] - Save Selene's family!
- [On-Hold] - Recruit the help of Hortentia Calamore
- [On-Hold] - Travel to Vhur'endal
- [On-Hold] - Recruit the help of House Bartell
- [On-Hold] - Travel to Anchordowns
- [On-Hold] - Recruit the help of Hortentia Calamore
- [On-Hold] - Find a cure for Thaldin Emberbrew
- [On-Hold] - Go to the nearby Drow city, probably Vhur'endal
- [On-hold] - Investigate "Bill, the Necromancer", in the far off city by the coast
- [On-hold] - Take the disembodied lips to the oceanfront, for a burial at sea
Quotes[]
- "I'll tell you what [the bat] doesn't do. It doesn't give a shit about any of us!" ~ Mike Bachmann
- "Oh my god! We don't even know when this takes place in relation to the other campaign. So, what if R'Oarc becomes the Raven Queen?" ~ Nika Howard, asking the important questions
- "I feel like, R'Oarc, normally, would go up and, you know, give them a little poem, or do a little ditty, or something like that. And now, R'Oarc the Artificer has basically changed from being a wholesome Christian acoustic guitar musician, into being like death metal, heavy drugs. So now she just goes up and blows a powder in your face, and you just feel, like, you're fucking like 'Bwaah!' You got so much fucking energy that you can do things twice as fast." ~ Nika Howard
- "Oh, fuck. Are you steampunk? I hate this..." ~ T'Chuck/Tim Lanning, on R'Oarc
Rolls[]
- Everyone rolls Perception to look around the gardens
- T'Chuck - 28
- He notices an unusual statue 20 ft into the garden area.
- Screech - 15
- Selene - 20
- She notices long slithery tracks, and some clawed paw prints, and some regular footprints.
- R'Oarc - 17
- T'Chuck - 28
- T'Chuck and R'Oarc roll to see if they know what the footprints are
- T'Chuck (Rolling Survival) - 25
- He recognizes they might belong to a "many legged creature", or maybe multiple.
- R'Oarc (rolling Nature) - 18
- T'Chuck (Rolling Survival) - 25
Combat Begins vs Medusa and Basilisk
- Initiative
- R'Oarc - Nat 20
- Medusa
- Screech - 20
- Selene - 14
- T'Chuck - 7
Round One
- R'Oarc
- Melee Attack (Thunder Gauntlets) vs Medusa - 9
- Miss
- Casts Sanctuary on T'Chuck
- Melee Attack (Thunder Gauntlets) vs Medusa - 9
- Medusa
- Melee Attack (Shortsword) vs R'Oarc - 21
- Hit - 5 Piercing damage
- Melee Attack (Snake Hair Bite) vs R'Oarc {x2} - 15,
2124- Miss, Hit - 4 Piercing damage + 14 Poison damage
- Melee Attack (Shortsword) vs R'Oarc - 21
- Screech
- Melee Attack vs Medusa {x4} - 22, 27, 21, Nat 20
- Hit, Hit, Hit, Hit - 51 damage
- Uses Zephyr's Strike to run away without prompting an opportunity attack
- Melee Attack vs Medusa {x4} - 22, 27, 21, Nat 20
- Selene
- Casts Fireball [Careful Spell] on the Medusa and Basilisk, requiring them to make Dexterity Saving Throws
- Medusa - ??
- Fail - 36 Fire damage
- Basilisk - ??
- Fail - 36 Fire damage
- R'Oarc - Automatically Succeeds
- Success -
3618 Fire damage
- Success -
- Medusa - ??
- Uses a Bonus Action to Telekinetic Shove the Basilisk, requiring it to make a Strength Saving Throw
- Casts Fireball [Careful Spell] on the Medusa and Basilisk, requiring them to make Dexterity Saving Throws
- T'Chuck
- Casts Spirit Guardians (at 3rd level), requiring both creatures to make Wisdom Saving Throws
- Medusa - 14
- Fail - 16 Radiant damage
- Basilisk - ??
- Fail - 16 Radiant damage - Kills It
- Medusa - 14
- Uses his Hospitality gift to give R'Oarc - 9 Temp HP
- Casts Spirit Guardians (at 3rd level), requiring both creatures to make Wisdom Saving Throws
Round Two
- R'Oarc
- Melee Attack (Thunder Gauntlets) vs Medusa {x2} - 20, 15
- Hit, Hit - 4 + 5 Thunder damage
- Melee Attack (Thunder Gauntlets) vs Medusa {x2} - 20, 15
- Medusa
- Makes a Wisdom Saving Throw, due to T'Chuck's Spirit Guardians - 15
- Fail - 14 Radiant damage
- Melee Attack (Shortsword) vs R'Oarc - 18
- Miss
- Melee Attack (Snake Hair Bite) vs R'Oarc {x2} - 9, 20
- Miss, Hit - 4 Piercing damage + 14 Poison damage
- Makes a Wisdom Saving Throw, due to T'Chuck's Spirit Guardians - 15
- Screech
- Melee Attack vs Medusa {x3} - 20, 21, 27
- Hit, Hit, Hit - A fuck ton of damage - Kills It
- Melee Attack vs Medusa {x3} - 20, 21, 27
Combat Ends