| Hydra Haulers (Campaign 2 - Episode 111) |
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| Information | |
| Release Date: | September 16, 2024 |
| Recording Date: | September 10, 2024 |
| Episode Length: | 1:30:59 |
| Cast & Characters | |
| Michael DiMauro: | Dungeon Master |
| Tim Lanning: | T'Chuck |
| Jennifer Cheek: | Selene von Esper |
| Nika Howard: | R'Oarc |
| Mike Bachmann: | Screech Echo |
| Guide | |
| Previous Episode: | Next Episode: |
| Hydra Hell | Small, Evil Frogs |
The hard part, we thought, was over. We beat the hydra and avoid drowning somehow but getting hunks of this dead beast and a bunch of underwater treasure back to that rickety ship was harder than we would like to admit. Sure, we had the Hole and the Rope to ease the whole process, and honestly we couldn’t have done it without them, but swimming in a huge pool of hydra blood is really unpleasant.
Story[]
Long Story[]
Okay. So, the Hydra has been defeated. It's disgusting corpse floats disgustingly in the water. Screech and T'Chuck are down there, in the water, while R'Oarc and Selene are still up above the cave, looking down into the hole. Deeper in the cave's pool, there's a sunken shipwreck, with a treasure chest lying there. It's too far for T'Chuck to swim to, but with Screech's Rope of Climbing/Grappling Hook thing, they're able to fish it out pretty easily. There's about 2,000 gold worth of gold and gems, things like that. In addition to this, T'Chuck also finds another cache of gems, worth about 400 gold.
The ladies join the gentlemen, with Selene using Misty Step to hop down into the pit, while R'Oarc falls backward, like Ripley in Alien3, a movie that's not great, but better than people give it credit for. Now that they're all together, they discuss how to bring proof of their conquest back to town, to collect their reward. There's a bunch of dead adventurers, who attempted to slay the Hydra, but failed. R'Oarc suggests using Animate Dead to make two of them carry the Hydra's body back. To be honest, it sounds like they do this, but also, it sounds like they don't? Like, later, all of the Hydra meat and toes and shit that they collect, is just poured out of the Portable Hole, and there's no more mention of the skeletons. So I dunno.
Anyway, T'Chuck casts Detect Magic, and notices something coming from one of the adventurers' corpses. Pilfering through his armor, T'Chuck finds a magically hidden pocket, and inside is a pair of dice, and a weird smooth stone. He pockets these for himself. Then, they either use the Portable Hole, or R'Oarc's animated cadavers to bring one of the Hydra heads, and a bunch of miscellaneous Hydra viscera back with them. And also some body parts of the dead adventurers for some reason. They use the Rope of Climbing to climb back out of the cave, then down the side of the cliff to return to Old Pappy's boat.
Old Pappy greets them, surprised they're not dead. As a kind of bribe, T'Chuck tosses a gold piece to him, and his young grandson, who's name was "Little Billy" last episode. Now, he doesn't have a name, because he's "too poor". That's sad. Also, it's unclear if T'Chuck gave them two gold pieces total, or one for the two of them to split. Either way, the boat returns back to Brookwillow.
Back in town, the party soon finds that word is beginning to spread of their heroics. The evil Hydra has been defeated, so the town will be able to fish again! Hurray! They waste no time in getting to city hall, where they are greeted by the Mayor of Brookwillow! He's kind of just a guy. But, after dumping the Hydra meat out onto the steps in front of him, the party is awarded with their 5,000 gold! T'Chuck also shows off the body parts of the dead adventurers, which I guess is like closure of some kind for the town? I don't know. Either way, the Mayor thanks them, and tells them that they will be commissioning a "very modest" statue honoring the party. That's neat! Also, the mayor has just received word from Barnabas Rumbletoes, who says that the circus will be having a special performance tonight, also in honor of their defeating the Hydra!
Alright! Before moving on, T'Chuck decides to take a quick trip to the bathroom. Really, he's investigating his new magical aritifacts. He's unable to tell what the smooth stone is without taking a short rest, but he can tell what the dice are. It's a pair of 6-sided dice, that seem to be able to roll any number the roller wills them to. It can be a different combination (like 6 and 1, or 4 and 3), but will always give the desire result. He returns to the party, and tells them about the dice, but not about the stone. Together, they return to the secret magical shop of Lucius Vale. Vale greets them on the upper floor of The Golden Grain Tavern, so he has to use his fake, mysterious voice. The others join in, then they abscond down to his secret shop. Once their, he drops the act, and goes back to his Jay Leno voice.
There's some business where Vale tries to sell them some over priced bullshit, but the issue now is that, they only have enough money to buy some things. They have to decide what to buy, amongst a bunch of different things. They also learn that Vale knows R'Oarc stole the sausage roll warmer, but says that it's "a freebie", that she can keep. That's a little sus, to me. Ultimately, T'Chuck decides to buy a magical shield, that's initially worth 1,500 gp. But, in the last few episodes, Vale had agreed to give them a 10% discount on all items, making the shield only cost 1,350 gold. They also decide to buy a Cloak of Protection. I'm not entirely sure how much this was supposed to have cost. After buying the shield (but before buying the cloak), Tim says that they have 9,637 gold, and then, once they buy the cloak, says he's removing 3,150 gold from the inventory. So, is that the price of the cloak? Or is that total, along with the shield? It's unclear.
Anyway, now that they've made a purchase from Lucius Vale, he decides to tell them about some other business men he knows, who might be willing to work with the party. I think they were supposed to get the name of someone they could buy from in Farhold, so it sounds like that's what's happening now. He also knows of an alchemist in the capitol, who he promises to write a letter to. This is in response to T'Chuck suggesting that Screech find an alchemist or someone, who could make him some kind of flying cape from the various animal parts he's been collecting. Also, Vale gives them some jars that they could put the Hydra blood in.
Then, once R'Oarc is out of earshot, T'Chuck asks Lucius what's the deal with the sausage warmer. Clearly, he wanted R'Oarc to have it. Vale tries to play it off like he doesn't know anything about it, but he's clearly lying. T'Chuck puts the pressure on him, so Vale let's something slip. Ominously, he says that R'Oarc is in danger, and as long as she has that sausage warmer, she'll never be safe...
Short[]
The party has successfully slain the dreaded Hydra. They also find a bunch of treasure lying around, which they commandeer for themselves. They grab the treasure, cut off one of the Hydra's heads, along with some extra meat and viscera from it, and stash all of this in their Portable Hole. T'Chuck also finds a pair of magical dice, and a weird magical stone, hidden on one of the dead would-be Hydra slayers. Then they return to Brookwillow by way of Pappy's boat. Upon their return, they are greeted by the mayor of Brookwillow, who thanks them for their efforts, and rewards them with 5,000 gold. Now that they have some money, they go back to Lucius Vale's secret magic shop, and buy some stuff. It sounds like all they buy is a magical shield, and a Cloak of Protection, even though Screech tries to slyly throw in the Eyes of Minute Seeing. Then, T'Chuck asks Lucius what's up with R'Oarc's new Sausage Roll Warmer, to which Lucius says, in an ominous voice, "Your daughter will never be safe, as long as she has that sausage warmer."
Trivia[]
- There's a brief discussion on whether or not T'Chuck has a hernia. It sounds like he doesn't. But that's exactly what someone who is trying to hide the fact that he has a hernia would say.
- Each one of the Hydra's heads is about 3 ft in diameter. From the ground.
- The Hydra's blood is acidic. Normal jars/containers wouldn't be able to hold it. Since it's acidic.
- "Little Billy" seems to have had his name lost to the sands of time. Instead, T'Chuck tries to rename him to "Skibidi Toilet". But the other's don't go for that.
- R'Oarc's animated skeleton friends looks like Wiggins from Pochontas. Or, they look like the two dudes from The Road to El Dorado.
- Once the party gets to Lucius Vale's shop, Michael posts a price list in the group chat. The exact items and prices aren't said on the episode. As someone who likes listing things out, and documenting things for posterity, this saddens me.
- Vale's shop gets new inventory added to it all of the time.
- Vale says that Screech's 997 ball bearings are worth 10 silver pieces. Kind of makes you wonder what they'd be worth if he still had the full 1,000. By my quick math, it would probably be 10.03 silver pieces.
- There's a lot of financial talk in this episode, and it makes my head hurt to think about. But here's how it all shakes down:
- I previously had it written that the party had 3,593 gold pieces, and 1 silver piece.
- At the top of this episode, they grabbed a treasure chest full of 2,000 gold, and an extra 400 gp from the dead adventurers. Tim then says that they now have 5,889 gold. By my math, it should be 5,993 gold. That's only a difference of 104 gold, which isn't that much.
- Tim also gives 1 (or maybe 2) gold to Old Pappy and his grandson. If we go by Tim's math (which I trust more than mine), they should have 5,888 or 5,887 gold at this point.
- Later, they collect a reward of 5,000 gold from the mayor. This should bring them up to 10,888 gold at this point. (I'm just assuming he only gave away 1 gold).
- They take this gold, and visit Lucius Vale's shop, where they buy some shit. First, T'Chuck buys a shield and pays 1,350 gold for it. This should bring them down to 9,538. But, Tim says that they have 9,637 gold, after buying the shield. So, what the fuck?
- They then buy a Cloak of Protection. They never say how much it is, but after this, Tim says that he's removing 3,150 gold from the inventory. This is either in addition to the 1,350 they paid for the shield, or includes that price. If we assume that it's in addition to, that would mean that 3,150 is what they paid for the cloak. Since that's 10% off, that means the original price was 3,500 gold, which makes sense. If, however, we assume that the 3,150 includes the 1,350, then that means they paid 1,800 for the cloak. That would, in turn, mean that the cloak was originally worth 2,000 gold, which is also a neat, even number. So, I'm really not sure. I'm just going to assume that the 3,150 is In addition to the price of the shield. So, the shield was 1,350 gold, and the cloak was 3,150 gold. Sound good?
- Also, if we assume Tim's 9,637 number is correct, and then they spend 3,150 on the cloak, that should leave them with 6,487 gold pieces total. And one silver. So that's what I'm going with! I'm gonna go take some tylenol.
In This Episode...[]
Cast and Player Characters[]
- Michael DiMauro - Dungeon Master
- Tim Lanning - T'Chuck
- Jennifer Cheek - Selene von Esper
- Nika Howard - R'Oarc
- Mike Bachmann - Screech Echo
Non-Player Characters[]
- Old Pappy
- Old Pappy's grandson, who may or may not be named "Little Billy".
- The Mayor of Brookwillow
- Lucius Vale
Locations[]
- Drunkeros
- Brookwillow
- The Lake of Brookwillow
- Town Hall
- The Golden Grain Tavern
- Brookwillow
Inventory[]
| T'Chuck | Selene von Esper | R'Oarc | Screech Echo | General Inventory | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Quest Board[]
- [Complete] -
Make enough money to buy something from Lucius Vale - [On-Hold] - Save Selene's family!
- [Abandoned?] - Go to Brunnell
- [On-Hold] - Wait for Ratma Ritmo to arrive in Brookwillow
- [On-Hold] - Recruit the help of Hortentia Calamore
- [On-Hold] - Travel to Vhur'endal
- [On-Hold] - Recruit the help of House Bartell
- [On-Hold] - Travel to Anchordowns
- [Abandoned?] - Go to Brunnell
- [On-Hold] - Find a cure for Thaldin Emberbrew
- [On-Hold] - Go to the nearby Drow city, probably Vhur'endal
- [On-hold] - Investigate "Bill, the Necromancer", in the far off city by the coast
- [On-hold] - Take the disembodied lips to the oceanfront, for a burial at sea
Quotes[]
- "I'm pretty sure dudes are stinky..." ~ Michael DiMauro
- "I don't have no name. I can't afford one." ~ Old Pappy's un-named grandson, who was previously called "Little Billy"
- "I could be your hole!" ~ Screech Echo
- "I know we're not here, but Selene is getting mad." ~ Jennifer Cheek
Rolls[]
- R'Oarc rolls Acrobatics to fall backward into the cave - 22
- She splashes down into the water.
- T'Chuck rolls Perception to look around for some treasure - 13
- He can't find anything for a while, before seeing the glinting treasure right before running out of air.
- T'Chuck makes a Medicine check to see if he has a hernia - 25
- He doesn't have a hernia.
- T'Chuck rolls another Perception to look around the rest of the ship - 28
- He finds another cache of gems.
- Selene rolls Perception to see what's going on around the Hydra's nest - 25
- She finds a bunch of half-eaten corpses.
- Screech rolls Perception to notice T'Chuck secretly taking the dice - Nat 20
- But it's not really a Perception roll, it's more like T'Chuck rolls Deception against Screech's Passive Perception.
- T'Chuck rolls Deception to secretly take the dice - 15 + 2
- Against Screech's Passive Perception - 15 + 2
- It meets, so it beats. In this case, T'Chuck beats Screech's DC, so Screech doesn't notice.
- Against Screech's Passive Perception - 15 + 2
- Screech rolls Investigation to see if the Rope of Climbing needs any kind of maintenance - 26
- The rope looks so perfect and new, that it looks like it's never been used.