Akkio

Akkio
(NPC / Mike Bachmann)
About:
Alias(es):	Akkiooooooo
Race:	Bone Golem
Status:	Alive? Dead? I don't know, it's a Bone Golem
Cause of Death:	unknown
Affiliations:	Skud Derringer
Appearances:
First Episode:	Last Episode:
Episode 259	Animated: Episode 378 Non-Animated: Episode 421
MISC Info:
Appeared to be a nondescript pile of bones when not animated Wore a crop top that said "Savory" on it

Akkio was a Bone Golem created, owned, and operated by Skud Derringer. Initially, Skud had 3 Bone Golem companions, which were unnamed. Later, the names Akkio, Fumiko, and Kimeko were given to the skeletons (and later, the name Emiko was thrown around). Skud carried the bones of his skeleton friends around in a Bag of Holding, so they were always with him (unless they were specifically called out as having been left behind somewhere). In Episode 336, Skud used a magical Evolution Bone on Akkio, transforming her into Akkiooooooo, a giant version of Akkio. The other two skeletons were made into skates on her feet, and later, were forgotten about entirely. The operating theory is that all three skeletons were combined into one giant skeleton.

Akkio (and the other two) had the ability to speak, though this was often forgotten about, and stated that she couldn't. When not animated, she looked like a nondescript pile of bones. She was made as a collection of random other bones; therefore, she didn't have a "living" form before she died. However, in Episode 378, Toby cast Resurrect on one of Akkio's bones, resulting in the appearance of a shirtless white dude, who called himself Akkio. So, that was pretty weird.

In Episode 414, Skud's Undead Thralls was accidentally transferred to Rowan. Because of this, he could no longer control bones, and create his bone golems. As such, Akkio hasn't been seen in animated form since. As he still carried the bones with him, Skud would use Akkio as other objects (such as a toboggan), though he would have to build these things manually.

Recent Events

When Skud Derringer was first introduced in The Monastery of Uthgar, he had with him "3 zombies, and 4 skeletons". Many of these skeletons were the re-animated remains of Skud's former monk friends, who died, (as he described it), from alcohol poisoning, a claim that was backed up by Frank (it was later revealed that they were all killed in an attack by The Skull Bandits). Skud had re-animated these skeletons, and believed them to have been "resurrected", and back to life. He had them doing odd jobs around the monastery, such as cleaning and cooking. One of them, he claimed was his "butler", and another, he referred to as "Jeremy". These skeletons were all destroyed when the dragon Pyre attacked, and the entire monastery reduced to a ruin.

Skud carried around with him a Bag of Holding, that he used to carry around, caddy style, a large collection of bones. He used these, in turn, to create his Bone Golems, as his magic didn't allow him to create the Golems out of nothing. After a night of celebration, Rowan Grey woke up in bed with 3 of Skud's skeletons. Skud used these 3 skeletons to carry Toby Treacletart around while he was asleep. It was revealed that one of the skeletons, like Lahni Caplain, was from Arkensaw, and knew it's traditions and customs. Skud used the skeletons to help them fight against various creatures, such as scary spiders. He gave one of them a Wand of Magic Missile that had the words Skud Missile written on the side. Also, during the spider fight, one of the skeletons walked into a spider web trap. Later, Mike Bachmann would get inspiration for this. Later still, the spiders were slain by Old Ben Dilladong, and Skud was able to rescue the skeletons. At the home of OBD, he turned them into a bone straw to drink honey from. Skud using his skeletons as other items would be a recurring theme throughout the series.

Some of the skeletons were destroyed while fighting a lake tentacle monster outside of The Castle of the Spring Court. Fortunately, Skud could just re-constitute the bones later, so being destroyed wasn't really too big a deal. Later, the party was led through The Feywild forests by Viscount Ambrosious Quorin. Skud send his skeletons along to verify that VAQ's information is correct, which they do. At this time, Michael confirmed that the skeletons could talk. This would later be forgotten about/retconned.

During a Tower of Grey performance review, Skud was asked what he wants. He responded that he wanted skeleton polish for his skeleton friends. Also, it was noted that the skeletons were technically interns. The skeletons wore crop tops that said different things on them, such as "THOT" and "Pink". Skud used them in a battle against an army of Orcs, where one of them was destroyed.

The skeletons had the ability to use skills such a Medicine, which they did to tend to Tilly and Donnybrooke, two wounded guards in Elysium. It was also at this time, that the skeletons were given their names: Fumiko, Kimeko, and Akkio, and their crop tops were changed to say "Sweet", "Spicy", and "Savory", respectively. Later, Skud made them into a Bone Cage, which they used to capture a mysterious man named Skid. While in cage form, they still had the ability to fight, though now, they had to move as one unit. They still had their own arms and weapons, so they could still attack separately.

Skud had the ability to form the bones into the shape of a Mech Suit, though to do so, he "had to be" fully nude. This he did in a fight against Barry, in a Skeleton Fight Club in Pelor's Hope. During the Grull arc, Skud, along with everyone else in the Tower of Grey, lost off of his items and magical abilities upon being imprisoned in Grull. It was theorized that his bones were either sitting around quietly, or going on a rampage. It was a 50/50 bet either way. Upon escaping from Grull, Skud and the others were re-united with their effects, and found some extra goodies as well. Skud, in addition to finding his Bone Bag of Holding, found an Evolution Bone, which he could use to Evolve one his skeletons into a more powerful form.

Later, during another Tower of Grey office party, several antics take place, including one of Skud's skeletons using another as a sled and riding it down the stairs. Skud requested that he be paid by the Tower solely in bones, and called dibs on any bones they came across on their adventures. This request was granted, under the caveat that Toby would first determine if the bones were magical and/or dangerous.

Skud was asked by Rowan what he truly wants in this world, and he responded that he just wanted love, and to be loved in return. Specifically, by his bone skeletons. Upon voicing this, the Evolution Bone began vibrating in his pocket, though he did nothing with it at this time. Lahni requested that, when she dies, Skud make her into one his skeleton minions, and Skud replied that he was planning on doing that anyway.

The skeletons helped them fight against the dragon Oseary Drakoolus. One of them continued to use the Skud Missile wand.

While preparing for their journy to the Ferrim Pecunia headquarters, the fact that it was a Null Magic Zone was brought up, leading to the idea that Skud's skeletons wouldn't be able to enter, and they may need to be left behind. It was then decided that he would take them, fully formed, inside his Bag of Holding, somehow retconning the idea that they couldn't maintain their constitution. This, too, would later be retconned when the Tower were inside the Ferrim Pecunia. Skud attempted to "create" his friends from the bones, implying that they were NOT fully formed already. They were also surprised to find that this was sucessful, and their magic worked.

Akkio was able to help Toby hack into a bundle of wires. Later, Toby created a Dimension Door into surely a trap, and was hesitant to enter it. Skud offered to send Fumiko through the Door, but that wasn't possible, due to the parameters of the spell. Toby went through, and died. Also, this triggered the alarms, causing a bunch of guards to show up. During the fight with them, the skeletons were hit with acid, and destroyed. Their final act was to cover their bodies across Skud, to protect him from further damage.

Later, Skud turned them into a motorcycle, and rode them off toward somewhere else. Also, he had one of them go and warn the others of the danger of another dragon, Grinky Grongus. Once again, the skeletons were capable of communicating. During the subsequent fight against Grongus, the skeletons helped fight, and one of them was destroyed. Skud referred to this skeleton as "Emiko". The other two skeletons became a bone ladder for Skud to climb upon. Later, a reference was made to all three skeletons being back with him, presumably with him at all times.

Skud finally used the Evolution Bone on Akkio, transforming her into a giant, mega-Bone Golem, affectionately referred to as Akkiooooooo (note the 7 "o"s). The other two skeletons became skates on her feet, and were subsequently, never heard from again. This suggests that, from this point onward, Akkio was the amalgamation of all three skeletons, which is probably cleaner anyway. Akkiooooooo helped in the fight against a giant lava creature, and Bachmann mentioned that the skeletons couldn't speak, reversing Michael's decision that they could.

Later, during a battle with Rick the Beholder, Akkio was the one to use the Bone Card against him, capturing the creature on Skud's behalf. She also delivered an antidote to a poisoned Rowan Grey by sticking a syringe in her butt.

Despite Akkio's size, and status as an honerary character, Skud would still use the bones to create various objects for his own sick and twisted^{[Citation Needed]} needs. To contain an octopus (that was really Silga Darvo), Skud created a Bone Cage to keep her in. Then, that same cage was used to slowly and painfully crush a clone of Thom Vidalis. Later, to cross a sewer swamp river, Skud created a Bone Boat, which is pretty metal as hell, if you ask me, and you do ask me. Akkio also made an appearance that same episode, to break down a gate for them. Thanks, Akkio!

While discussing Toby's ability to resurrect dead skeletons, Akkio was brought up. Toby attempted to resurrect Akkio, despite Skud's warning that she was more like "an amalgam of a few different bodies", rather than a solid skeleton from one deceased person. Toby performed the resurrection on just one of the bones, which created a shirtless dude, not Japanese, who referred to himself as Akkio. He attempted to air his many greivances with the party, before Toby killed him again, reverting him back to bone form.

Following this, there was a stretch of time where Akkio did not appear. In Episode 387, Akkio was referenced as not being with them, despite having been previously confirmed as being with Skud all the time, in the Bag of Holding. Later, when the party was preparing a meal for King Theonjon Dayne, Skud prepared a Bone Meal, made of many different bones. The party asked about Akkio, to no response from Skud...

Then, the unthinkable happened. Skud drew a card from a magical Deck of Many Things, which resulted in his Undead Thralls feature being transferred to Rowan. This meant that he could no longer control bones, meaning he could not create Akkio anymore! Rowan ostensibly could, but never did. Skud would have to resort to conventional methods of making the bones move, or be in different shapes, such as when he used the bones to craft a toboggan once to slide through a portal to The Feywild.

Episodes

• Episode 259 - Welcome to the Feywild
• Episode 262 - Too Many Legs In This Feywild
• Episode 264 - The Big and Brave Ben Dilladong
• Episode 269 - The Writhing Mass Under the Lake
• Episode 275 - An Unquenchable Thirst (GeeklyCon 2018 Live Show)
• Episode 278 - Heaven Can Wait
• Episode 279 - A Complicated Heaven
• Episode 282 - A Tavern at the End of Heaven
• Episode 283 - Once More Into the Bone Cage
• Episode 286 - Preparing to Enter the Shadows
• Episode 302 - Never Have We Ever
• Episode 309 - A Maze for You, Dear Drakoolus
• Episode 314 - Welcome to Vacation Island
• Episode 315 - Hell Room
• Episode 318 - An Early End
• Episode 322 - One Bad Bungalow
• Episode 324 - Everything Leads to Dragons in the End
• Episode 325 - A Shattered Illusion
• Episode 334 - Welcome to the Elemental Plane of Fire
• Episode 336 - Skank Your Way Into a Volcano - Akkio is made into Akkiooooooo, final mention of the other two
• Episode 337 - Brimstone and Melted Snow
• Episode 346 - A Beholder's Bar
• Episode 348 - Dr. Varmus Gremp's Monster
• Episode 351 - Spy Time
• Episode 353 - Croc Crunch
• Episode 378 - The Crimes of Catherine Beanlord
• Episode 421 - As the Feywild Burns - Not re-animated, just a pile of bones in toboggan form